Regarding my present status.
I've done my B.tech(Indiia) and M.S(US) both in computer Science and been working for the same employer, client for the last 6 years. have approved i140 and pd is 2007 Aug. wife is on h1 and on and off in jobs. I work in some rare technologies which fetch me around 20 to 25% more than friends. (All these to say I'm not a FAIL). No own home. around 50k in retirement a/cs. and around 200k savings and investments (India). 80k stocks here. We've more than 100 friends in less than 100 mile radius. We as a group do lot of social, religious and charity activities. me and my wife are active red cross blood donor drive volunteers in the area and loneliness is not my problem. We do enjoy ll american amenities, food and culture and "fish out of water" is not my problem as well.
Family
My family is a very big one. I've four bros and 2 sis. just me stays here. Rest of the family is in India. one of my brother is doing good job and settled in northern part of india. sisters are educated but housewives. One brother just enjoys the life(One of the reason for my R2I plans more below).
My personality
I read at least 10 news papers each day. skim through at least 50 blogs in my g reader. I read mostly political, finance and technology. I almost read anything about green solutions and alternate energy. I read all american, Indian and AP politics. We are equally disturbed by the great landfills american consumerism is creating or corruption in commonwealth games or black genocides in Philadelphia or telangana movement in AP.
Here are the points that confuse me these days a lot about my future.
1) Am I going to have the same job/life down the line: I was very fortunate to get a client 6 years ago and been working for him continuously. But the major disadvantage here is, the technology we are working is OUTDATED by now. The client has updated the system only twice where as it has been updated at least 6 times in the market. My project gets extended every 6 months and nobody can tell if it can be extended at any time. This is to tell you that I will not get the same pay for sure(100%) for my next project( unless get my GC which opens up lot of opps) .Also due to the number of influx of IT engineers each year, Am i going to get this type of billing once i'm out of job?
2) Family Call: All my family members are very confidant in me but they want me to stay HERE only, When I talk about returning to India, every body explains me the ground problems there and discourages me. They also say that as I'm the only one here, I should stay here only to keep all their hopes,and the family prestige alive. They suggest me to stay here until i get my citizenship so that I can come back at any time. If I insist on R2I, they tell me to establish a career back home before calling a R2I. My father who came here 6 months ago seriously warned me of thinking about India and talking about it as he says Indian life is .1% what american life is.( sorry guys).
But his health and age is bothering me. He is now in mid seventies and seriously need my hand. I would also want to spend with him lot of time in his hey days. I can't call him here. Even though he liked america very much in most of the aspects, he was bored here very much. He used to be a business man and used to interact with lot of people. that may be the big reason. All my siblings are settled in their own field of studies( except one and the sisters), But are looking for that big hand to boost their career(i feel). I need to put one of my elder brother's life on track as he is suffering with depression and alcohol addiction. People back home are REALLY busy too take care of him. I need to stay for 6 months, around him in some alcohol addiction treatment center.
My BIL works here in US and in laws live in India. My aunt and uncle are very friendly in nature and completely believe and respect our decision. They are very young compared to my parents.
3) Entrepreneur's Desire: This bug is biting me from last 3 years. I've some good(??) ideas to empower rural india in IT. I'm seriously disturbed by seeing the poverty and corruption and all the inabilities India has, and strongly believe that good entrepreneurship can bring lot of positive change in their life. Thanks to the inexpensive computers available on market today and penetration of internet and other communication in India, With a right product one can create wonders.
Of course, with a right idea, you can create the same wonders here with much less efforts and energy even money.(yes.. most of tech stuff is cheap here end of the day)....The only hindrance here is the haraa patta (GC)..
Not running behind the black swans but I think I need to hurry in implementing ideas. Couple of years ago whatever I thought are already in market today and I couldn't afford to delay any more. If I wait another 6 years to get my citizenship, I'm sure my knowledge will be obsolete by that time but only my money and experience may be of little help. I'm sure I couldn't compete with the younger generations down the line in Technology. (for ex.. I don't know basics of mobile computing technologies and its already a big $ industry). ..
In simple words, Family needs my help, parents and one of my brother require my attention very badly. I strongly feel in usa i may not have the same life / pay any more.Why I'm still here? when I can do much more in India with all the good education (MS) and and good experience and global exposure, (ALL thanks to AMERICA). Social responsibility. And the American way of hope, to work hard, honest and innovative to achieve success. My wife is very good in handling situations and we think having her own business is her cup of tea. h4/h1 restrictions are to be blamed here too.
My Dilemma: If I fail? Other than family, I do not a have good social life back home.I stayed less than 6 months in total back home in these last 10 years. I've a very cool office, where i just stay 6 hours a day on average and log in from home whenever i please. Am I going to leave all these to dogs? I enjoy all the amenities here, long drives, camping, trekking, swimming, casinos and weekend outings. Am I going to miss all of them? I've a kid of 2 months old. Do i have a moral right to spoil his career? Down the line after 10years what will I think? I'm also confused, why I came to this country? Did I achieve what i came here for?
Do any of you think in similar lines. Can any of you help? You can ask me as many questions as you like and i'll try to answer them . Thanks every one for reading such a long story.
This is the biggest mail/ post i ever had in my life. Please ignore if i din't maintain a regular flow. I agree I'm not at a good writer. Not even in the same zip code of him.....
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
Welcome to the forum. you are at the right place, and several members here are facing similar dilemma.
Would things be any different if you had your GC?
Would things be any different if you had your GC?
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
[QUOTE]Not even in the same zip code of him.....
Who is this?
A very interesting post, but the above is a mystery.
Who is this?
A very interesting post, but the above is a mystery.
-
PeterGriffin
- Posts: 3327
- Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:12 am
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
Interesting read! You are in the right place. There a lot of people like you who have just returned back and i'm sure they'll be able to help you out.
Btw, just curious, what is that rare technology domain that you are working in? I would like to know.
Btw, just curious, what is that rare technology domain that you are working in? I would like to know.
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
Your situation is interesting but thankfully not unique. I'd suggest you see your GC process through and then see how things play out. Seems like you are well assimilated here in the US and have put in enough hard work, so just stay for a bit more and see how life plays out post-GC. Seems like the GC will open up some good opportunities for you and your wife. In terms of your skills being obselete, you can always upgrade, perhaps go to business school if you need to. Good luck!
Of course, with a right idea, you can create the same wonders here with much less efforts and energy even money.(yes.. most of tech stuff is cheap here end of the day)....The only hindrance here is the haraa patta (GC)..
Of course, with a right idea, you can create the same wonders here with much less efforts and energy even money.(yes.. most of tech stuff is cheap here end of the day)....The only hindrance here is the haraa patta (GC)..
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
dbs;314947Who is this?
A very interesting post, but the above is a mystery.
forget it.. I just mean to say I'm not a good writer..
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
petergriffin;314950interesting read! You are in the right place. There a lot of people like you who have just returned back and i'm sure they'll be able to help you out.
Btw, just curious, what is that rare technology domain that you are working in? I would like to know.[/quote]
sap pp/pi
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
Guna, like others said you are looking for guidance in the right place. There are many experienced people here who can guide your thought process, however, as I need not tell you only YOU can make the decision whether to go back or not. Make sure your wife is on-board in any decision you make.
My suggestions:
1. First search for all the information that exists in this forum if you already haven't. Particularly read posts by member KirKS/Tejasvee that relate to the social aspects of an R2i decision. Read the R2i diaries of people who have returned (ILuvHyd's diary is good, imo but there are others too). Most of these posts are informative, comforting, or inspiring and you will identify with many of them and probably get some answers to your questions.
2. Personally, I would not worry too much about children and if you are doing them any injustice. No one has seen the future and in 25 years you will not know whether the opportunities for your child will be better here or in India. Children will manage. So I would suggest take that thought out of the picture.
3. Parents' and family's wishes are important, but not binding. If you do not get mental peace living here, then go back - parents and family will adjust. Why live your life for someone else? Some sacrifice for family is fine but not for trivial reasons like "prestige" etc. If anything, by going back you are planning to give to your family more than just "prestige".
4. As for business part, I only know Mumbai_2009 who started a business on going back - but not in IT. Read her R2i diary to get some feelers for doing business in India. I vaguely remember someone else who had started an IT business in India, but cannot recall the member's name. May be others can help here.
5. Financially, imo, you are fine and have collected a sizeable amount of money. However, read posts by experts like Desi and RRK in these forums to get more guidance on things like Asset allocation plans and financial planning to move to India (if you decide to do that).
6. For GC, I am not sure what to suggest you as I do not know how long you will have to wait and I am not as tuned-in into the GC process as most members here seem to be. I personally prefer to have a GC before moving because of the tax benefits you will get when you move to India and are in RNOR status (see posts by financial experts like Desi and Bobus if you already havent) + you can move back to the US within a year if you like. One option for you is to do a part-r2i to help your elder brother out + the 6 months may also give you a first-hand experience of Indian conditions and help you make a decision whether to move or not and if you move, what to do in India for a living. This of course will be easier if you have a GC.
Hope this helps. All the best.
My suggestions:
1. First search for all the information that exists in this forum if you already haven't. Particularly read posts by member KirKS/Tejasvee that relate to the social aspects of an R2i decision. Read the R2i diaries of people who have returned (ILuvHyd's diary is good, imo but there are others too). Most of these posts are informative, comforting, or inspiring and you will identify with many of them and probably get some answers to your questions.
2. Personally, I would not worry too much about children and if you are doing them any injustice. No one has seen the future and in 25 years you will not know whether the opportunities for your child will be better here or in India. Children will manage. So I would suggest take that thought out of the picture.
3. Parents' and family's wishes are important, but not binding. If you do not get mental peace living here, then go back - parents and family will adjust. Why live your life for someone else? Some sacrifice for family is fine but not for trivial reasons like "prestige" etc. If anything, by going back you are planning to give to your family more than just "prestige".
4. As for business part, I only know Mumbai_2009 who started a business on going back - but not in IT. Read her R2i diary to get some feelers for doing business in India. I vaguely remember someone else who had started an IT business in India, but cannot recall the member's name. May be others can help here.
5. Financially, imo, you are fine and have collected a sizeable amount of money. However, read posts by experts like Desi and RRK in these forums to get more guidance on things like Asset allocation plans and financial planning to move to India (if you decide to do that).
6. For GC, I am not sure what to suggest you as I do not know how long you will have to wait and I am not as tuned-in into the GC process as most members here seem to be. I personally prefer to have a GC before moving because of the tax benefits you will get when you move to India and are in RNOR status (see posts by financial experts like Desi and Bobus if you already havent) + you can move back to the US within a year if you like. One option for you is to do a part-r2i to help your elder brother out + the 6 months may also give you a first-hand experience of Indian conditions and help you make a decision whether to move or not and if you move, what to do in India for a living. This of course will be easier if you have a GC.
Hope this helps. All the best.
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
roxstar;314961Your situation is interesting but thankfully not unique. I'd suggest you see your GC process through and then see how things play out. Seems like you are well assimilated here in the US and have put in enough hard work, so just stay for a bit more and see how life plays out post-GC. Seems like the GC will open up some good opportunities for you and your wife. In terms of your skills being obselete, you can always upgrade, perhaps go to business school if you need to. Good luck!
Of course, with a right idea, you can create the same wonders here with much less efforts and energy even money.(yes.. most of tech stuff is cheap here end of the day)....The only hindrance here is the haraa patta (GC)..
Roxstar, Thanks for you reply. The main thing is I may not have to struggle for jobs, also cant be a creator of them as well. I don't think I've the right ideas or money to implement here in USA. I also know that I'm just couple of years away from getting GC. But I may have to wait here until i get my citizenship to fully utilize it.
Where do I belong? Wha Should I Do?
gunapam;314932 Do any of you think in similar lines. Can any of you help? You can ask me as many questions as you like and i'll try to answer them . Thanks every one for reading such a long story.
gunapam -
Welcome to the forum! Here's a virtual cheers:embeer:
Here's is how I would break your individual 'worries' , based on whatever you have written in the original post (OP).
Your US Stability (Immigration): Based on what you have written, you are in a decent immigration position, even considering GC blues. You will just be fine with a good lawyer on your back. If you are OK, your spouse would be good.
Your US technology: This is the easiest thing in your entire list to fix. Yes, it may sound very tough, but I have gone through your dilemma about 12 years back. Just talk to folks in your industry & you will find ways to update your skills, even without using them in your current project. Hey, with a 6 hour work day, you have 18 hours to yourself :wink Give yourself 6 to 9 months, mark your calendar for technology upgrade to the area where you want to go & if necessary spend a few thousand $ for crash courses/certificates. Remember, no investment on self is ever going to waste. Just skip that Hawaii trip for 2010 & invest in yourself for the same money.
Your India family: This is tricky. Very few can actually understand your issue as you literally have a huge family.
With all due respect, your father is exaggerating. I have worked in India before move to US, worked in US for a long period and now back in India for well over a year. I have seen all 3 sides of the story & can tell that it's not THAT bad in India. Of course, it's hard, but hey, you want to gain something, you need to lose/roughen something else.
Regarding helping your brother & others.. I applaud your big heart. But please think. Based on what you have written, you must be around 30ish in age, which is too young to put brother's life ahead of yours. Please don't get me wrong, but I am giving you a very straight forward suggestion here. The only folks in India that you should risk your career for should be your parents. For the rest, things can wait a few more years, if that is what it takes. I am not saying neglect anyone, but try to multi-task while going with your career, the way YOU want. At your age, career & money making should be the topmost priority as you have at least 5 more decades to sort out the rest. Remember, 1 in 50 or even 100 get your chance to make it big in US, so don't blow it. You can always have someone else, whether paid help or family/friends help take care of brother's alcohol problem. If I were you, I wouldn't put on the top of my list or anywhere closer to top.
As you age, you will learn one thing. There are only a few things you can do in life. Do them well, instead of committing to everything & doing a mediocre job.
Your India entrepreneurship bug: Relax.. there will always be the right time to market something if you study the market/society's needs for the immediate few months/years. You can be an entrepreneur at 30 or even 55. The world will always keep changing & with keen observation & enough deep pockets, you can always find an idea or two that would hit jackpot.
Competing with younger generation: No worries here too. Unless you want to do at 9 years exp, what a 2 year old is doing, you are OK. India's IT industry is pretty hierarchical to your advantage. If you even take the entrepreneurial road, you can always hire the right talent for the right hierarchy.
Kid: Don't worry about a 2 months old kid. You have at least a decade before serious planning about US or India needs to be made for him. For now, look at your 2nd decade of 21st century's plan. Just ensure that your wife is a part of your plan. That's 50% of the decision right there!
Eagerness: Overall, I can see spots in your OP where there's ample indication of restlessness. In good spirits, I request you to calm, see things more easily & then plan. Very important roadmaps such as R2I shouldn't be worked out when there's restlessness in mind. Again, this is not to put you down or anything, but as a friendly pat on your shoulder from your forum friend, after reading the limited info you have revealed:)
Finance: Since you are revealing about $330K assets, that's fairly good. Pat yourself on the back and also your spouse! But, unless I got your age wrong, you could go a bit further. Only you can decide what's "good enough", but if I were you, I would aim for at least $300K after owning a India home of your choice/desire.
Summary: Frankly, I don't see a pressing reason in your OP that you must cut short your US stay & return to India. Lucky you, to have a big family in India. Your obsolete technology problem or immigration problems are not pressing. Your social life in US is excellent. Work pressure is not much. Make hay while there's sunshine! Target yourself a few more years. Make more moolah while also preparing for your entrepreneurial venture in US/India/both.
My verdict: You belong to US for at least 2-4 more years.
Good luck,
- Kiran