About my confirmed R2I plan - some rambling thoughts

[makepaisar2i]

Warning - These thoughts may be interesting or may just give you a headache.

First of all, I would like to THANK each & every one who contributed on this forum and shared their invaluable knowledge & wisdom.

Lesson learned #1 - You could learn from other's experiences.

My background - After working in India for 3 years, I came to USA 12 years back with my DW, through a consulting (One of India's top 5) company. No complaints about them since it was my choice. Worked for them for 2 years and moved on to another US based consulting company for GC, got my GC and joined the client. Touch wood, no gaps in my employment so far.

Family background - Parents are back in India and no siblings alive. We belonged to upper middle class initially and moved down to middle class due to medical expenditure (for my siblings). My parents have gone through lots of ups & downs in life (real killer is losing their 2 kids - I came out strong from those two depressions with the support of my DW).

Another shock in life - my dad was diagnosed with terminal illness some time back. I don't have complaints about that, even after spending more than 50% of my savings for the treatment. I am happy that I can afford to bare the expenses and thanked GOD for that (& DW for supporting me). He is hanging in there and I would like to give him some happiness by spending some time with him.
Lesson learned #2 - You cannot escape fate and define the importance of money in life - very carefully, especially when it comes to human relationships.


Immigration status - USC with OCI (All of us - DW, kids & myself). Like others, I took USC just to keep the door open.


Reasons for R2I - Kids future (their education, social acceptance and their marriage lives), taking care of parents and our future (I need modest financial independence and peaceful retirement life) - in that order - I do not want to deceive myself.


Important Lesson learned in Life - main reason for sharing my thoughts
We met an older Indian couple (really need to thank my DW for her initiative in making friendships) 9 years back and they gave us this invaluable advice:

"Live like Americans in USA and don't make your life miserable by leading an Indian life in USA".

Those words stirred the thoughts about returning to India for good around 6 years back and we made up our minds about R2I over a period of time. Some of you may think that those words are utterly wrong and we could live & lead better Indian life abroad. Well, I think it all depends on perception (forget about who/what is right or who/what is wrong). My theory is simple like this - "Do you feel happy about your life at the end of the day or not?". Place should not matter as long as your happy.
Lesson learned #3 - You could learn from other's experiences (repeat) and learn to listen to elders wisdom.


Ramblings about kids

With my typical Indian mentality that kids should NOT have early emancipation and undue sexual freedom (took exact words from Rajradio's post - sorry sir - I liked those words so much that I had to copy them), I feel that we should make sure that kids understand the importance of education in life (along with entertainment) rather than treating it as an option. I do NOT want to put them through so much social pressure at middle/high school or college or preaching them about importance of safe sex before marriage (giving them bc-pills in milk or rubber) - sorry for being candid. Please do not tag me as typical MCP. I definitely support my kid's decisions once they are matured enough (they should know the difference between right & wrong). More over, it is hard to digest certain US family concepts & lack of life clarity (career first & late age marriage/kids next) for me and I do NOT want my kids go through that dilemma.


I agree with some arguments that India also have these teenage problems but what is the percentage and how fast is it growing?


I have seen families leaving USA when these realities hit them or lead a miserable life here since they are unable to shatter their dollar dreams and accept the American way of life at the same time (trying to lead Indian life in USA).


Lesson learned #4 - You have to plan for your life/future up to some extent instead of just leaving it out there (Please refer to Bhagavat Gita). You will always win some and loose some in life.


I strongly oppose with people who think/observe/talk only negative things about USA. This society also has lot of positive things to learn and implement in life (non-nosy nature, keep environment clean, taking extreme care of young kids, no corruption at low-level etc). We all know the negative things (I told enough above already), so no need to discuss.


Lesson learned #5 - There are good and bad things/people every where, you have to pick what is good for you and leave/ignore the rest.

Current status ? I am planning to start my job search in next couple of months so that I could move to India (Hyderabad ki Jai ho ? hook (United Andhra) or crook (Separate Telangana)) during first quarter of 2011. Getting a proper prompt reply from consultants is really tough and I am developing lot of patience these days. Hope every thing works out good for me.



Final touch - I feel little jealous (in a positive way) when my friends move to India, thinking about when my dream-come-true (DCT) day would come, then quickly remember that I used to feel the same way 12 years back when folks moved to USA. Our thoughts are like young monkeys, keep looking for the next best/safe branch constantly instead of enjoying the current one.


Sorry if I bored you and most of these things may be known to you. I felt like sharing a little when I learned so much from this forum.


Enjoy your life, work on your R2I and just wait for your DCT day. Have faith in GOD (he knows what do to with you when you do your part honestly).


Thanks,
SeattleDude

[dbs]

The tone and contents of your post suggests that you have come out stronger passing through your predicament and misfortunes. It must have been difficult. The fact that you can still write with the clarity and without the self pity, speaks volumes for your charcter.
I am sure that you will bear your difficulties with fortitude and still get to enjoy life.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and wishing yiu the best in life.
_____________________________________________________________________
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try and please everybody

[r2i2011_venkat]

Great post SeattleDude. All the best.

[Koeli]

Wish you all the best in your endeavors. Your words did touch the chord and it only make my belief in the quote 'tough times do not last but tough people do" even more stronger.

[rajradio]

welcome home seattledude.

dude feel feel to use my thoughts ramblings, I am glad I could help you. I am so happy to see you come out stronger through this whole issue, way to go.

RK

[siyaram]

makepaisar2i,
Well thought and nicely written post. Determination and preperation are very important for a successful r2i and you seem to have both. Good luck....

[anwesha]

OP, You have a positive outlook towards life. As they say, it's not about the cards we are dealt in life, but how we play the hand we are dealt with.
Hope you continue to write here. Best wishes for a successful R2I (DCT) :)

[maya1]

Most coherent rambling i ever came across :)!!..Wish you all the best!!

[PeterGriffin]

Great start! Another amazing individual!

Keep updating us with your ramblings! :)

[rajradio]

Here is something I thought about for a while. I think birth of a person is the only real happiness, and loss of a person is real sadness. The rest are all a state of mind, they just create relatively happy and sad states.

even while coping the death of a near individuals I believe there is a pecking order, a psychologist once told me this.

a) Death of a parent: Sad but I believe subconciously at various points mind gets ready for it. You grieve but have ways of coping with it and getting on with life.
b) Death of a spouse/friend: sad, most people dont believe their loved one or spouse will die before them, so their coping mechanism is poorer but will eventually cope but takes them longer to get over the sadness.
c) Death of a sibling: very very hard, even if you dont like your sibling. So much childhood memories and emotions attached, so it makes super hard to cope with this loss.
D) Death of a child: Study was done on parents with sick children, I believe your mind never ever thinks that your child ever dies before you so it is almost next to impossible to get over this loss and many people never do.

SO seattledude, you went through C), and your parents went through D), which are very hard. Life tests us in many ways and you came out in flying colors, now how much harder can it be to go back to your janmabhoomi, you 'll pass in flying colors.

( guys as you can see I have had a long sometimes frustrating week, if anyone feels it is too sad or morbid I will delete it, just thought I would express my thoughts).

RK