Husband = Best Friend?

M V · Post by **M V** » Thu Sep 23, 2010 12:14 am

Should one's husband be one's best friend? Like, should he be the person one is closest to in the world? One should be able to and feel free to share practically anything with him? Given some free time, the heart should want to spend it with him?

I googled 'Is your spouse your best friend?' (now don't ask why!), and found some results. Couple that were interesting:

Is it a good idea or bad idea for your husband to also be your best friend

Should your spouse be your best friend

I am not so sure about definition of best friend etc., but lean more towards the second link above.

Your thoughts? : )

dreamsofr2i · Post by **dreamsofr2i** » Thu Sep 23, 2010 12:37 am

Man, the responses in the first link are so cheesy. Wait till these people have their first real fight!

My husband and I have a great marriage, but my girlfriend who I grew up and went to college with, is my best buddy.
Its by sheer luck that we have landed in the same city in USA.

My husband and I share common interests, love same type of songs, movies etc, but the bond that I have with my friend is incomparable.
Just the mention of a pharse, she understands what I am thinking and why. We are each other's "Venting machines".

M V · Post by **M V** » Thu Sep 23, 2010 1:12 am

Heh heh Venting machines : ) I am going to use that sometime!

I also found the responses in first link corny!

But, first real fight? Hmmm... I somehow have some pleasant memories around it : ) j/k.

I had once asked this about my venting machine friends. : )

shell · Post by **shell** » Thu Sep 23, 2010 11:08 pm

Best friend 1: A girlfriend I grew up with, We could tell each other everything and would always be there for each other. Still consider each other as best friends but Speak about once in 2 months.

Best Friend 2: Closest friend in grad school . Not best friends since I got married.

So who gets to hear my every thought: DH.
So by choice or not, I guess he is my Best friend now ?

Mumbai_2009 · Post by **Mumbai_2009** » Fri Sep 24, 2010 11:06 am

I don't think I ever had a best friend. There are few folks with whom I have best of my time and that includes my husband.
The degree of spending best time varies according to the situation. By best time I mean, when I am totally offguard, I can say anything without worrying about repercussions and would share deepest of my thoughts however corny they might be. DH has an advantage over other friends who land in my best time category due to an additional icing of being married.

maya1 · Post by **maya1** » Fri Sep 24, 2010 1:22 pm

I am not so sure about best friend funda..what is best friend anyway??..i have friends.. who call me as their best friend and i have no clue why?..i have good times with them..we are comfortable with each other and share many things but i dont know if i can tell them my innermost feelings..i have no such problems with husband who has nasty talent of knowing what i am thinking..not good, but that makes him my close confidant...if that is friendship than yes i can say he is my best friend ..but again there is this age difference, so may be he can be my older generation friend...and yes sometimes he does talk like oldies!!!..and sometimes when he starts talking logically and makes logical arguments then he is not fun to be with...so do best friends sometimes bore each others?....confusion,confusion!!But i think i dont want my husband to be my friend..best or otherwise...you cant be with your best friend all the time..it can prove bothersome..they might irritate you after a while, you may find faults with them..what?? am i describing marriage here??...anyway,i can have many friends.......but planning on keeping one husband only..as long as he is doing all the husbandly duties :5: and most of the time fun to be with and logically boring sometimes..i am happy!!:8:I think i will keep his Husband title..being best friend might not work...............you know what i mean????

okonomi · Post by **okonomi** » Mon May 23, 2016 6:55 pm

health shine;631536Being best friends means to give time. In USA or foreign countries its easy to spend time with spouses, as the circle of people they know their is very small. In India living with elders and spending more than 10 hrs at work is pain to even ask time from husband . I wish he was my best friend and also could give me time . No social attendance no chacha bhai mama wedding visits no in laws attendance just him and me.

Ain't it nice to have a work-spouse ? Someone at work to share the whatever with. And besides, it has even be made cool enough to gay-marry.... at least at work.[QUOTE]google sez....
A work spouse is a co-worker of the opposite sex with whom you have a close platonic relationship. In many ways, these relationships can mirror a real marriage. According to a 2007 survey from Vault.com, a career information Web site, 23 percent of workers reported that they had a work spouse.

sunshin · Post by **sunshin** » Mon May 23, 2016 9:38 pm

Yep, its possible. My hubby is my best friend. I can discuss 95% of the things. Some times these discussions lead to a debate or healthy argument too. Still, I am not worried in expressing what I think is right. I have some very close girl friends too, with whom I discuss many things. The only thing I share with my friends but not with my hubby is every thing that annoys me about my MIL....

SamSan · Post by **SamSan** » Mon May 23, 2016 10:40 pm

I have had good girl friends but never 'best friend' (Not sure about the definition.. but nothing like the sex and the city gals). I used to have that 'talk anything' relationship with my sister, but over the years our ideologies have gone in different directions. To me, my only best friend is my hubby... we know each other so well, that we can complete each others sentences!!!! (ohhh soooo cheesy). No discussion is off limits. We share common interests. We discuss each others work (even though we work in entirely unrelated sectors) and jump in with suggestions and criticize wrong moves. Any and all decisions and possessions are jointly made/jointly owned. We do fight but cant stay mad at each other for long. And since we are married, we are friends with "benefits".

I always attribute our closeness to starting our married life in a distant land with very little extended family intervention + we had 4.5 years to get to know each other before we decided to have kids + my hubby is a genuinely nice guy!

But I think this has its pitfalls...deep inside I am terrified at the thought of 'what if' this changed? Am I emotionally too dependent on him? Do I have any fall back plan...
I think it is better to have a best friend hubby and a best friend non-hubby... unfortunately I don't have the latter and its very difficult to acquire one at this stage in life!

okonomi · Post by **okonomi** » Tue May 24, 2016 3:50 am

SamSan;631555........
I think it is better to have a best friend hubby and a best friend non-hubby... unfortunately I don't have the latter and its very difficult to acquire one at this stage in life!

There are anonymous internet forums for any stage. A member could even be an inmate doing 30 to life, and yet be on the anonymous forum making anonymous friends.