Brief Background
I'm in IT, late thirties and married, have one kid (7 Yrs old). All are USC/OCI. Spouse has always worked and currently on a break post R2I.
Move to USA
I moved to US 12 years ago on work visa having previously worked in India for few years. Just like now the salary differentials were huge for a relatively junior guy and your success was measured in terms of how far west you moved. First few years were quite good - couple of job hops got me on the track to realize American dream. Also met my spouse here and got quickly settled down.
Life in USA
Despite an intent to R2I, never constrained our lives to that. Lived a content middle class American life just like my peers - SFH in a suburb(and a 30 Yrs loan), running around with kid from activity to activity, tending to yard on weekends and the never ending desi potlucks.
Reasons for R2I
While I had no pressing need for R2I, the following factors were in play:-
Social
Mechanical life in USA, no siblings/family there and none in immediate horizon :)
I have no family there but made quite a lot of friends at work. We all went together through the hoops of H1->Kids->GC->House->USC over last 10 years or so.
Its funny looking back that even the conversations at the potluck weekend parties used to exactly mimic the same. My group had mostly two kinds of folks -
few who had migrated in early seventies and the rest who had moved for higher studies. I used to be the odd man out who neither shared their pessimism for
India nor their overly optimistic outlook (toned down post recession, of course) for US. Hosting a party at your newly finished basement of your luxury SFH was the epitome of success. At last conversation my group was getting split into Republicans vs Dems and I felt in a no man's land day dreaming R2I.
Financial
Belief that in IT one can earn and enjoy a descent standard of living by Indian standards. I'd probably rate that as my top enabler for R2I. Flat returns (read 0%) on investments in US (as compared to India) over last decade was another thing that used to worry me.
Emotional
Love India and while I'm still wowed by big cities like NY, I have grown a distaste for the soul-less and cultureless suburbs. Would rate Delhi better than any of the suburbs I have been to :)
Career
Having worked in India previously, I believe I had a slightly different perspective. Landing up at the beaten down industrial township of NJ on a consultant's job wasn't my idea of glamor associated with USA. While I was lucky to move into a stable full time job in the NoVa area within a year’s time, I observed that one could quickly get outdated and get stuck career wise tending GC and house dreams. Somehow I always felt that one is better off in India despite its misgivings careerwise.
Kid
Most of my desi acquaintance are a big fan of US public education. I have my skepticism and believe that Indian system has an edge during the primary years. Anyway, growing holed up for 8-9 months of winter at home hooked on to Wii, iPod and Bakugun is not my idea of childhood.
Others
I-could-always-comeback-if-I-don’t-like-it-here-no-exceptions :) . While the R2I may prove to be an expensive proposition if I have to R2A for any reasons, felt that it’s worth a try as I may never get another chance to “live” here (vs. retiring here).
Food
Forgot to mention this in my original posting. Being a foodie, its unbelievable how I survived and even put weight on pathetic excuse of food at US :) . While US has lot of choices, I can say that my taste buds are not "aligned". Nothing can beat super-specialty north and south Indian food commonplace here. I'm definitely not missing tasteless fruits,vegetables and the dread of my life - Italian Pasta !!
Coming up next - my preparations for R2I...
ShKu2005\'s R2I diary to Gurgaon
-
LotsOfRokda
- Posts: 204
- Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 10:48 pm
ShKu2005's R2I diary to Gurgaon
Thanks and waiting for details.
ShKu2005's R2I diary to Gurgaon
Nice posts. Can relate to many things you said (about GC, potlucks, party in the basement of SFH etc) and disagree with some. But it was nice to read your posts. Keep writing.
ShKu2005's R2I diary to Gurgaon
I can totally relate to this...it happens every time we have group gathering..I am the only one in the group planning to R2I
shku2005;351290
At last conversation my group was getting split into Republicans vs Dems and I felt in a no man's land day dreaming R2I.
ShKu2005's R2I diary to Gurgaon
Preparing to R2I
I had no firm date for R2I and mine's was long drawn process of some action but mostly inaction over a decade :)
2000-2004
Real estate in India
Started browsing around for RE in India starting 2000. Somehow the price always seemed to be out of reach (even ten years back). Then, used to balk at 60 lacs being demanded for independent house at Gurgaon (worth in excess of 10 times now !) and 25 lacs for a DLF 4 BHK house :) . After watching prices climbing up helplessly for 4 years I finally acted in 2004. Buying the RE in India was a major contributing factor that kept my motivation to R2I strong the following years. At the same time US was also seeing RE boom and signed a SFH during 2003 with the intent of living American dream and down the line realize the gains to fund the house back home. Without reading on, you can guess how successful that strategy was!
2005-2009
Life was coasting just fine during the first few years. US House had appreciated substantially but the trend started reversing by late 2005.By 2007 I was definitely worried about my own equity in the house. I visited India 2008 Jan. after a 3 years gap. Liked what I saw and a decision was made to R2I just like that! Came back to US and house went on sale. Then it took two months+ to sell (by spring 2008) but looking back now I consider myself lucky to still stay +ve in the whole deal. We moved to rental accommodation and the countdown began.
I look back experiencing the American dream with mixed emotions. While it was nice to be a home owner and enjoy the benefits, it was an expensive proposition. Not only that, I didn’t realize that DW has fallen in love with it which was very apparent before and after the sell side closing. At least I know now why home owners stay put - house can add biggest inertia to your plans!
Job hunt
The next and my biggest challenge was securing a job. As luck would have had it - the recession and the job market later part of 2008 was at its worst. The organization I was working for had no presence in India and no plans also. I knew that I wont have the luxury of many R2Iers have enjoyed - an internal transfer with full relocation! I postponed the plan and renewed my rental for another year. Mid 2009, I started my formal job search with all the odds stacked against :(. The market was still bad but had started to open up by during 3rd quarter. Limited contacts in India proved to be of limited help.
However I could see relevant job postings on the Indian job boards so started diligently applying for every relevant post that I saw. Didn't receive a single response even after a month or so changed tactics and started calling recruiters in India before I would send my resume out. That worked a little better and I made my first few contacts with that. The response was still sluggish and 4 months of application didn’t result in a single interview materializing. As Dec. 2009 started, I was very demoralized but was adamant that I wont R2I without a job. Knowing that 2nd half of Dec. onwards is a slow time hiring wise, decided to take Florida Disney vacation. While there, a plan emerged that I thought of worth trying (Vacations works :) .
On first day of work upon returning, walked to my boss's office and handed my resignation. Two weeks later, kissed my family goodbye and boarded a one way flight to India !
I had no firm date for R2I and mine's was long drawn process of some action but mostly inaction over a decade :)
2000-2004
Real estate in India
Started browsing around for RE in India starting 2000. Somehow the price always seemed to be out of reach (even ten years back). Then, used to balk at 60 lacs being demanded for independent house at Gurgaon (worth in excess of 10 times now !) and 25 lacs for a DLF 4 BHK house :) . After watching prices climbing up helplessly for 4 years I finally acted in 2004. Buying the RE in India was a major contributing factor that kept my motivation to R2I strong the following years. At the same time US was also seeing RE boom and signed a SFH during 2003 with the intent of living American dream and down the line realize the gains to fund the house back home. Without reading on, you can guess how successful that strategy was!
2005-2009
Life was coasting just fine during the first few years. US House had appreciated substantially but the trend started reversing by late 2005.By 2007 I was definitely worried about my own equity in the house. I visited India 2008 Jan. after a 3 years gap. Liked what I saw and a decision was made to R2I just like that! Came back to US and house went on sale. Then it took two months+ to sell (by spring 2008) but looking back now I consider myself lucky to still stay +ve in the whole deal. We moved to rental accommodation and the countdown began.
I look back experiencing the American dream with mixed emotions. While it was nice to be a home owner and enjoy the benefits, it was an expensive proposition. Not only that, I didn’t realize that DW has fallen in love with it which was very apparent before and after the sell side closing. At least I know now why home owners stay put - house can add biggest inertia to your plans!
Job hunt
The next and my biggest challenge was securing a job. As luck would have had it - the recession and the job market later part of 2008 was at its worst. The organization I was working for had no presence in India and no plans also. I knew that I wont have the luxury of many R2Iers have enjoyed - an internal transfer with full relocation! I postponed the plan and renewed my rental for another year. Mid 2009, I started my formal job search with all the odds stacked against :(. The market was still bad but had started to open up by during 3rd quarter. Limited contacts in India proved to be of limited help.
However I could see relevant job postings on the Indian job boards so started diligently applying for every relevant post that I saw. Didn't receive a single response even after a month or so changed tactics and started calling recruiters in India before I would send my resume out. That worked a little better and I made my first few contacts with that. The response was still sluggish and 4 months of application didn’t result in a single interview materializing. As Dec. 2009 started, I was very demoralized but was adamant that I wont R2I without a job. Knowing that 2nd half of Dec. onwards is a slow time hiring wise, decided to take Florida Disney vacation. While there, a plan emerged that I thought of worth trying (Vacations works :) .
On first day of work upon returning, walked to my boss's office and handed my resignation. Two weeks later, kissed my family goodbye and boarded a one way flight to India !
ShKu2005's R2I diary to Gurgaon
Nice narration Shku2005. Keep them coming.
ShKu2005's R2I diary to Gurgaon
It’s been long since I updated the diary. Time indeed flies by fast! I just realized that last month I have completed 1 1/2 years and my family a full year post R2I!
Friends and family had given a time frame of 3-6 months for me to pack off and retreat. After all history is the guide (many came back and went back) and who in the right mind takes a big step backwards in life when everyone from a taxi driver to S/W engineer wants to migrate westwards and are dying for their break? Various theories have been on - US economy abhi that recover nahin hua kya ? DUI mila kya ? Layoff ki wajah se ghar bechna pada ?..etc etc.
So how has the journey so far been for ? Personally - it’s been the best decision ever. I have had very minimal if at all any issues while settling down. I can only thank heavens for that. I took a conscious decision to take the job close to family and the life here has been in technicolor as compared to shades of grey in US :wink . May be it’s the first odd year here but I'm happy, content and quite optimist.
Spouse who took a break after R2I has decided take soccer mom role full time. Her worries may resonate with some here - is this decision good for the kid ? Are we getting behind financially and otherwise vis a vis our friends back in US? Is the kid getting behind education wise compared to his peers !!! My suggestion has been that she needs to go back to work but I'm being told that, that doesn’t fix these "Problems".
My 7 yr. old took some time to get adjusted. The first six months he used to threaten that he is moving to VA. Then he started adding things he liked here to take back with him - his school, our housing community, the Ambience mall...Latest is that he wants to go back just do his shopping at ToysRUs and be back!!! I can see him much better at interacting with people, being able to relate to bigger family and has picked up swimming,bycyling,tennis etc. thanks to "no snow" but tolerable evenings good part of the year.
Overall I feel that India has its challenges and usual deterrence’s for any R2Ier. But along with these it also provides opportunities not present in first world. I can only feel sorry for R2Iers who gave up on challenges alone during first six months.
More later..
Friends and family had given a time frame of 3-6 months for me to pack off and retreat. After all history is the guide (many came back and went back) and who in the right mind takes a big step backwards in life when everyone from a taxi driver to S/W engineer wants to migrate westwards and are dying for their break? Various theories have been on - US economy abhi that recover nahin hua kya ? DUI mila kya ? Layoff ki wajah se ghar bechna pada ?..etc etc.
So how has the journey so far been for ? Personally - it’s been the best decision ever. I have had very minimal if at all any issues while settling down. I can only thank heavens for that. I took a conscious decision to take the job close to family and the life here has been in technicolor as compared to shades of grey in US :wink . May be it’s the first odd year here but I'm happy, content and quite optimist.
Spouse who took a break after R2I has decided take soccer mom role full time. Her worries may resonate with some here - is this decision good for the kid ? Are we getting behind financially and otherwise vis a vis our friends back in US? Is the kid getting behind education wise compared to his peers !!! My suggestion has been that she needs to go back to work but I'm being told that, that doesn’t fix these "Problems".
My 7 yr. old took some time to get adjusted. The first six months he used to threaten that he is moving to VA. Then he started adding things he liked here to take back with him - his school, our housing community, the Ambience mall...Latest is that he wants to go back just do his shopping at ToysRUs and be back!!! I can see him much better at interacting with people, being able to relate to bigger family and has picked up swimming,bycyling,tennis etc. thanks to "no snow" but tolerable evenings good part of the year.
Overall I feel that India has its challenges and usual deterrence’s for any R2Ier. But along with these it also provides opportunities not present in first world. I can only feel sorry for R2Iers who gave up on challenges alone during first six months.
More later..
ShKu2005's R2I diary to Gurgaon
" Spouse who took a break after R2I has decided take soccer mom role full time. Her worries may resonate with some here - is this decision good for the kid ? Are we getting behind financially and otherwise vis a vis our friends back in US? Is the kid getting behind education wise compared to his peers !!! My suggestion has been that she needs to go back to work but I'm being told that, that doesn’t fix these "Problems". "
Being a spouse I have the same worries. Its funny every year when all our friends come to India during July and December ....my dissatisfaction increase sp after interacting with them. Then later I tend to forget every thing get back to life and then again this cycle starts. Specialy for me and for my son.My husband is cool and my daughter does not know better as she was just in class 2 when we moved.Even I dont know how to fix this problem.....may be stop meeting friends who come to india for vacation. COmparison is the mother of all problems ...even though I try my best not to compare but still.......very difficult.
Being a spouse I have the same worries. Its funny every year when all our friends come to India during July and December ....my dissatisfaction increase sp after interacting with them. Then later I tend to forget every thing get back to life and then again this cycle starts. Specialy for me and for my son.My husband is cool and my daughter does not know better as she was just in class 2 when we moved.Even I dont know how to fix this problem.....may be stop meeting friends who come to india for vacation. COmparison is the mother of all problems ...even though I try my best not to compare but still.......very difficult.
ShKu2005's R2I diary to Gurgaon
What are you comparing? You are comparing apple and oranges, kids studying in US (depending upon where they study, good public school or best private school) will definitely be different than kids studying in India. My experience since we R2Ied for a year, my kids accent has completely changed, they just talk like typical Indian English accent their US accent is completely gone, I don't think I would ever compare my kids with kids coming to India for a vacation. Things are different here and things are different in US. By comparing you as a parent my end up finding unnecessarily more deficiencies in your own child which is not correct. You have R2Ied for good, accept the fact and go with the flow :)
pm071;397399
Being a spouse I have the same worries. Its funny every year when all our friends come to India during July and December ....my dissatisfaction increase sp after interacting with them. Then later I tend to forget every thing get back to life and then again this cycle starts. Specialy for me and for my son.My husband is cool and my daughter does not know better as she was just in class 2 when we moved.Even I dont know how to fix this problem.....may be stop meeting friends who come to india for vacation. COmparison is the mother of all problems ...even though I try my best not to compare but still.......very difficult.