Philosophy: Cause of unhappiness

Hyderabadi · Post by **Hyderabadi** » Tue Jun 07, 2011 7:59 pm

I was thinking about this subject and came up with a theory, when it comes to people & relationships. These relationships could be any.

Expectations In general expectations is in human nature, else we would all be saints. Is there a good expectation and bad expectation?
Expectations are good when it comes to self. If you run 5 miles a day and you expect to lose weight, you do a good job and expect a promotion/raise.
Expectations are bad when you expect something from others to make you happy.

Addictions We can also call it habits. As long as it is limited to self it is "ok" (note, I did not use the term good). However when that habit involves others, it leads to expectations.

Doing stuff for others When you do something for others because they want it is ok, however when you do something for others because you feel they want it or will like it, will only lead to wrong expectations.

Your comments please.

Hyd

M V · Post by **M V** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:50 am

Hyderabadi;392984 ..Doing stuff for others When you do something for others because they want it is ok, however when you do something for others because you feel they want it or will like it, will only lead to wrong expectations.

Your comments please. ...

Did you say please? :) Here goes...

I think some women do this wittingly or unwittingly. Slave away for the family, relatives or guests or go many extra miles to help a friend and then feel disappointed or unappreciated when no credit, appreciation or reward comes along.

boca · Post by **boca** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:00 am

modus_vivendi;393071Did you say please? :) Here goes...

I think some women do this wittingly or unwittingly. Slave away for the family, relatives or guests or go many extra miles to help a friend and then feel disappointed or unappreciated when no credit, appreciation or reward comes along.

I thought he was against giving foot massages to his wife ("because you fell they want it or will like it"). Why lead to wrong expectations? :)

okonomi · Post by **okonomi** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:04 am

modus_vivendi;393071Did you say please? :) Here goes...
I think some women do this wittingly or unwittingly. Slave away for the family, relatives or guests or go many extra miles to help a friend and then feel disappointed or unappreciated when no credit, appreciation or reward comes along.

and then....much later....there'd be guilt trips for everyone, naturally bigger baggage means longer trips; and several pounds of flesh would be demanded (cf. all those in-laws comments ) in return.

Hyderabadi · Post by **Hyderabadi** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:05 am

boca2blr;393076I thought he was against giving foot massages to his wife ("because you fell they want it or will like it"). Why lead to wrong expectations? :)

The last time I tried giving a massage with my foot, she just did not appreciate it. Maybe I should send her to malaysia for some training.

Serious philosophy ka dhajjian uda di yaar. (has been blown to pieces)

gwldaddu · Post by **gwldaddu** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:09 am

Hyderabadi;392984I was thinking about this subject and came up with a theory, when it comes to people & relationships. These relationships could be any.

Expectations In general expectations is in human nature, else we would all be saints. Is there a good expectation and bad expectation?
Expectations are good when it comes to self. If you run 5 miles a day and you expect to lose weight, you do a good job and expect a promotion/raise.
Expectations are bad when you expect something from others to make you happy.

Addictions We can also call it habits. As long as it is limited to self it is "ok" (note, I did not use the term good). However when that habit involves others, it leads to expectations.

Doing stuff for others When you do something for others because they want it is ok, however when you do something for others because you feel they want it or will like it, will only lead to wrong expectations.

Your comments please.

Hyd

I am confused with your post. Are you trying to figure out "what causes unhappiness"?

If yes, then I am not sure what do you mean by "good expectation" and "bad expectation". Any expectation whether or not it involves others.. can lead to happiness or unhappiness.

Case in point (involving only self):- I run 5 miles a day. I expect to loose weight. I am happy if my expectations come true. I am unhappy if they are not.

Case in point (involving others):- I ask my subordinate to write a good code. I am happy if my expectations come true. I am unhappy if they are not.

I am not sure why you are calling expectations as "good" or "bad" depending on whether or not they involve others.

gwldaddu · Post by **gwldaddu** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:11 am

Hyderabadi;393080
Serious philosophy ka dhajjian uda di yaar. (has been blown to pieces)

Hindi ki dhajjiyan uda di yaar. (you have blown Hindi to pieces)

Hyderabadi · Post by **Hyderabadi** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 2:42 am

gwldaddu;393083Hindi ki dhajjiyan uda di yaar. (you have blown Hindi to pieces)

Ka/ki , I am South Indian afterall. My wife's pet peeve when it comes to hindi.

srinpo · Post by **srinpo** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 9:06 am

Simple answer to your philosophy. It is fate & you are born with an index of happiness. Just like how resistant to diseases, you will be, how fair/dark/short/thin you will be. I know some people in India as well as US, of very smart kind to very average kind, who I think are born with this magic gene (or whatever it is) of happiness. I consider myself to be not too bad, but quite often over intelluctualness will hinder that. Happy people will see the world sometimes they want to see even though that's not what they see.

dbs · Post by **dbs** » Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:36 pm

If your wife is good, you'll be happy. If not, you'll become a philosopher.

No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.