Dilemma to relocate from Toronto to Chennai

[jay_jay]

Hello,

** Edited to make it brief.

We're family of 4 (two kids, 8yr boy, 2 yr girl), canadian citizens. I am in late 30s, living in Toronto. Its been close to 15 years since I left India (been visiting pretty frequent though), currently living in Toronto. I am originally Madurai, India. IT person earning a reasonable pay in a stable job. Have some friends around, no relatives at all.

Originally from a tier II city Madurai, Tamil Nadu. We both belong to a family which has a good local reputation, I love being in my hometown than any other part of the world. Parents are aging, I am the only son with two sisters and my wife is the only daughter with a brother.

Financially, we're in a acceptable state to survive, could easily mobilize about 250-275K if I leave this year. We have a 2 bed apartment in chennai (bought it as a back few years back), individual home in Madurai and some additional properties well enough for about additional 400K.

We miss our parents a lot, I don't really plan that we all live together but move to a Metro (chennai) and live in proximity. I feel lot of vaccum in their life as they had been visiting off-late. Living here, I miss the support I get from my extended family (uncles and aunts) who had been very close with always. We feel the loneliness and feel the same for our kids.

Toronto is good, bad winter though. Good schools, can not really complain much.

I am internally feeling the confusion of whether to move to chennai (my wife and kids are perfectly OK, kid has bit of questions with the school, but he said, he will adjust), I could get a good job in chennai as I have good connections in the industry and have friends in chennai. I also think whether to stay where I am and keep shunting between Canada and India every 6 months (might get really tired after sometime).

No doubt my affection to be in India is very very high, I am just worried whether I am putting my wife and kids in trouble with my decision. There will be some in my status... how do you feel about it, if you have done already how you feel now.

Thanks,
Jay.

[clarence123]

I have read your first post (before editing) about your love towards Madurai. That city is too hot, crowded and lot of pollution these days but you still love it, keep it close to your heart and you dream being there. Your heart is in India. For such a characteristic person, you would love being in India. You would love being with relatives, friends. If you don't attempt it, you will feel restless and will keep thinking about it all the time. Why not give it a try ?

Understand you are concerned whether you are putting your kids/wife into trouble. Believe me, they will enjoy it there with all the pampering they get. You have already figured out a good way not to stay in a single roof with parents/in-laws which would avoid most of the problems over influencing each other.

You being the single son, you can be with parents and make them happy (Priceless)

Just my 2 cents.

[triveni]

Try it out. since you are canadian citizens, if things dont work out you can move back.

[jay_jay]

Moving back is going to be really pain. Having a backup while moving to India will make me weak to lean back soon as I hit any hurdle...
That is why I like to really draw a chart and move then.

Try it out. since you are canadian citizens, if things dont work out you can move back.

[triveni]

well u will always have hurdles with any change. and plans also change. if at any point with all your charts drawn, you still dont like it you can come back. but you will never know unless you try.

[jay_jay]

The very reason I posted this in Dilemma section is because I am really in Dilemma, haven't made a plan yet, else it would've gone under r2I planning section.

Any one tried managing to maintain connection in both the worlds, frequent visiting... etc., etc.,

[dbs]

Any one tried managing to maintain connection in both the worlds, frequent visiting... etc., etc.,

Not trying to try but I go back every year and am welcomed by my friends in UK.
_______________________________________________
do not have to ask them -
If I needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours ?

[moneyIsNot_funny]

You have nothing to lose my trying it out. You have valid reasons and only you can answer if its worth it for you - and the only way to find out is to try it out.

Be warned though, that the IT job scene in Chennai is practically non existent. Its all in Bangalore, Pune and Hyd. So that could change the variables heavily for you.

[tigerinhunt]

Been thinking of doing it for sometime. but we love everything but social life here in UK..Parents are ageing and have large family both sides and children will sure have gala time. Have my own flat in Delhi. Have made some descent investments back in India and have some cash which I can invest further. The biggest dilemma for me is kids education and future..We think they will have better chances of making it good in life than in India. In India, children still aim to get into IT and I am not aware of any other industry doing well. We are UK citizens so we can always come back but that will be too selfishness as we will have to leave our parents again...now at-least they know I am not with them.

Am I too much obsessed with kids future or things will be al right for them??

Regards

[balakri]

I am trying to cross that bridge too - my case is very much like Jay_jay(OP). The dilemma of relocation, with and without family and kids future are all in the forefront. Having just initiated that path, I feel for jay_jay or tigerinhunt thoughts.

After looking at pros and cons, i have taken the plung as R2I single(Chennai)and testing the field before bringing my family. This bring in itself a set of other problems, but has opened my eyes to see the ground reality. It has been 3 months now, I have given myself another 7 before making the call.