Just thinking aloud!!
In an online forum, how difficult is it to engage in harmonious discussions? Healthy debates are fine but what is the advantage in huge arguments/frictions? What does one gain in proving that the other person is wrong like pre-kg kids?
I guess most of the people participate in the forums to acquire knowledge, share information and to relieve the day-to-day stress! Our daily lives are so hectic that one comes online to relax. For eg, in Facebook, most of the comments are positive and encouraging (is it because one deals with known people)?
Live and let live :-) One should feel at home in a forum (as if they are visiting their mother's place and not in-laws' place :-))
Soo many long-term posters are not to be seen much for quite some time. It is really sad to miss out on the wealth of information that they could have contributed! (to name a few - Dutyful, VA_Indian, RaReSha, Plan2010, Sai, MR, Chicago Desi, OG, b2b.........).
IMHO, One has to abide by the COC no doubt, but maintaining harmony is paramount and that need not necessarily be governed by any COC as such.
Harmonious Discussions?
Harmonious Discussions?
From your list, Sai, My Roots, Boca2Blr ( if that's the b2b you are referring), Plan2010 are still participating. Probably Chicago desi has changed ID to just Desi, the Desi sirjee (from Chicago) now and he is still the admin. Don't know about others whereabouts.
Harmonious Discussions?
b2b is different from boca2blr.
Yes, from that list Sai, MR are participating but the frequency has much reduced - that is what I implied.
Yes, from that list Sai, MR are participating but the frequency has much reduced - that is what I implied.
Harmonious Discussions?
tnadu;416392
In an online forum, how difficult is it to engage in harmonious discussions? Healthy debates are fine but what is the advantage in huge arguments/frictions? What does one gain in proving that the other person is wrong like pre-kg kids?
I guess most of the people participate in the forums to acquire knowledge, share information and to relieve the day-to-day stress! Our daily lives are so hectic that one comes online to relax. For eg, in Facebook, most of the comments are positive and encouraging (is it because one deals with known people)?
Live and let live :-) One should feel at home in a forum (as if they are visiting their mother's place and not in-laws' place :-))
If one selects the informative discussions, it's still possible to exchange info without much friction ( as seen in finance/R2I logistics sections) etc but the participation is probably limited by just few posters. The timepass ones see the huge friction even though they are technically timepass and should not be taken seriously :)). I am just out of one such big exercise , so not a right person to comment but please post your threads and you will get some inputs and discussions. As far as changing the culture to whatever you had seen couple of years ago, it's not possible to put back the time in bottle :) or until all those people come back and start participating like before. Till then make new friends who suit your style :). Diverse people always exist and one has to either live with them or reduce discussion with them.
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GutsyGibbon
- Posts: 1267
- Joined: Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:56 am
Harmonious Discussions?
tnadu;416392Just thinking aloud!!
In an online forum, how difficult is it to engage in harmonious discussions? Healthy debates are fine but what is the advantage in huge arguments/frictions? What does one gain in proving that the other person is wrong like pre-kg kids?
As adults people have huge biases, & opinions, based on life experiences. If one sees a post such as "Indian cricket team has made strides only because of Mumbai players", I am sure all cricket fanatics from other areas will try to prove their point. Should one not start controversial threads, or should others not make a counter point. Does it bother to see another person with similar sentiment be proven wrong? If so, all heated arguments should be moved to some "annoying debate" section, but then we should have a poll about each argument to see if that is annoying.
Majority of members would hate auto drivers. If ones parent/close relative is a auto rikshaw driver, what should he do? Should he not speak out, or should he join the 99% in a harmonious discussion? What can be a casual comment against auto drivers can be very worthy of a counter point for other. People feel strongly about most of the stuff that we talk about here... Politics, sports, religion, family values, parenting etc. But, why be offended with anything?
I posted about my dog/pets, and read about people wanting to hit dogs with cricket bats and shoot dogs at sight with a gun. Certain reactions can certainly come as a shock, but that is reality. There can never be a harmonious discussion when the thought process is completely orthogonal. Its good to know that this goes on in some people's heads, than to think everyone in the world thinks just like us. Why be offended, to bail out of the forum?
Another aspect is that some of the comments that may pass as dark humor, or sarcastic humor, comes off very different online. The key is to not be offended, but ignore.
Please....I am not trying to prove you wrong on this post too. Pre-kg kids do not try to prove a point and stop talking to each other for ever, they get back to play immediately. People may stop posting, because they just find other interesting/better things, not necessarily out of bitterness, but of satisfaction of having learnt something and having spent a good time here. Also, not eveyone has a hectic, stressful regular life, perhaps they meditate and have so much "inner peace" that they indulge in heated arguments online, to get a healthy dose of stress. :)
Harmonious Discussions?
tnadu,
As they say, speak to your banks with your wallet!
Similarly, just post in the threads that interest you. Now its another matter if the threads that interest you are H&B and AMC ;)
As they say, speak to your banks with your wallet!
Similarly, just post in the threads that interest you. Now its another matter if the threads that interest you are H&B and AMC ;)
Harmonious Discussions?
Online bulletin board type forums are not the best place to expect cordial exchanges on a consistent basis. One reason is that you are interacting with an OP who is using a handle and not a named person you know or can see / hear. In many cases, that handle is a fa?e that allows the OP to bypass Communication 101 and 'Tell It Like It Is' the way they see it. Especially so if the topic in question touches a nerve or two. Sometimes your post might even be targeted by someone who is having a bad day. Staying cool and not taking things personally can help. Try not to go full throttle with all Ethos, Logos and Pathos on arguments as you must also remember that 90% of all communication is non-verbal and a large portion of it is body language. With the 90% missing and only the remaining 10% of communication in play, people may be reading between lines when they shouldn't or not reading between lines whey they should. The message may not always come across, much less the intent. Such communication can actually get funny sometimes.
With the above said, by and large this forum has a richly diversified member base with lots of knowledge and experience to share and contribute. Whether you are R2I, R2A or LIA this forum has it all. Most of the members are very forthcoming in providing advice and suggestions to those who seek help and hopefully if they ask nicely. No problem if you are here to mostly read, learn and gather. If you have the appetite for fun and can take a joke or two on yourself then you might even find yourself some camaraderie. Start participating actively and you'll quickly feel at home even without those old members that you miss. Btw, I myself am guilty of not participating as often as I'd like but I hope to fix that.
Besides, members will always come and go as their priorities outside the forum evolve and change. You don't want to get too acquainted with a handle no matter how much the appeal or respect, because all it is a handle that you cannot trace in FB, Orkut or Batchmates.com once they're gone from here.
I like to follow simple supermarket etiquette when in a forum; go with a list if possible, grab a cart, try to find your aisle(s) before asking, pick what you want and glance past what you don't. If you have some extra time to kill then feel free to order a Latte or Frapp at the Starbucks (BCC) inside the store and chill. Feel free to exchange pleasantries and discuss weather / sports with staff or fellow shoppers while you are there. If a fellow shopper asks for directions then oblige if you are able to. Don't hesitate to ask if you don't find what you are looking for. If something is out of place or if you're unhappy, you're encouraged to report it to the Store manager (admins).
Good luck!
With the above said, by and large this forum has a richly diversified member base with lots of knowledge and experience to share and contribute. Whether you are R2I, R2A or LIA this forum has it all. Most of the members are very forthcoming in providing advice and suggestions to those who seek help and hopefully if they ask nicely. No problem if you are here to mostly read, learn and gather. If you have the appetite for fun and can take a joke or two on yourself then you might even find yourself some camaraderie. Start participating actively and you'll quickly feel at home even without those old members that you miss. Btw, I myself am guilty of not participating as often as I'd like but I hope to fix that.
Besides, members will always come and go as their priorities outside the forum evolve and change. You don't want to get too acquainted with a handle no matter how much the appeal or respect, because all it is a handle that you cannot trace in FB, Orkut or Batchmates.com once they're gone from here.
I like to follow simple supermarket etiquette when in a forum; go with a list if possible, grab a cart, try to find your aisle(s) before asking, pick what you want and glance past what you don't. If you have some extra time to kill then feel free to order a Latte or Frapp at the Starbucks (BCC) inside the store and chill. Feel free to exchange pleasantries and discuss weather / sports with staff or fellow shoppers while you are there. If a fellow shopper asks for directions then oblige if you are able to. Don't hesitate to ask if you don't find what you are looking for. If something is out of place or if you're unhappy, you're encouraged to report it to the Store manager (admins).
Good luck!
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PeterGriffin
- Posts: 3327
- Joined: Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:12 am
Harmonious Discussions?
Nice!! Hope to see more from Calche!!
Harmonious Discussions?
This forum is just a stop on life's highway, for those who happened to stop by this way. six to seven Billions others are on a different highway and never saw this stop. People move on for a variety of reasons. Some for health, others, they R2Ied and got busy with a more hectic life or lost interest in an R2I forum, others found a more time consuming job, others got bored etc. I think it is wrong to assume that a lot of people who disappeared did so because of lack of harmony. This is one of the well managed forums in my opinion. And do not assume that members have necessarily disappeared, some reappear with one ID for six months and then leave and then come back with a different ID and this also is not new - has been going on for years.
You are always going to have people who are going to argue opposite sides of an issue and discussions can get quite intense. All that is normal and intense discussions should not be a reason to feel uncomfortable. I think one ends up learning new information from intense discussions.
However, when sometimes a dispute erupts we get too many pro bono attorneys (some even resurfacing from a hiatus) that converts a dispute into a street melee or even a riot. Being a forum, this is not surprising and comes with the territory and should be expected. It is upto the participant to decide if they will also pick up a stone, try to be a peace maker in the riot or walk away.<<< This has been my observation over the years from a number of acrimonius disputes.
What I find distasteful is my observations of what I consider pot shots. What may look like a benign post many times is intended to needle a member. When that observation is made a number of times, it is no longer a paranoia but a fact, a fact that is not necessarily visible to all but to more frequent participants. And the holier than thou and the popular ones too engage in it except that they may not accept that they do. There is an easy way to handle that also and that is to ignore - period. I personally follow this rule. I do not engage in discussions with some personality types that rub me the wrong way except for very rare occasions and it has served me well (use mental ignore or the forum ignore function).
We do not gel well with certain personality types and we cannot change the other person and in an open forum all personality types are welcome, so it is upto the individual to judiciously decide where to engage. However not all do that and so sometimes this needling continues both ways despite repeated promises to stay away. Having been in this forum since its formation, I have seen this more than a few times.
You are also going to see groupism, ganging up, surfacing only at the opportune moment, shying away, etc etc, so if you are expecting harmony in a democratic online forum, I think unrealistic expectations. Harmony can be created if the forum became autocratic where the admins just put people out of the forum at their slightest perception of disharmony. That would mean admins take the role of a headmaster with a cane in one hand and open slap in another. I like the forum as it is where essentially everything is fine, except egregious attacks, spam, and porn and profanity.
Member Rbee quoted a post - I disagree with the assertion or a percieved observation in that post by Raj that this forum had become a power trip for a few. We can perhaps agree to disagree. This statement is made not to solicit a lengthy discussion but to air an opposing view which I hold to a statement quoted in this thread.
It is possible that some of my observations are way off the mark.
I think I have said my piece and my peace, adios for now.
You are always going to have people who are going to argue opposite sides of an issue and discussions can get quite intense. All that is normal and intense discussions should not be a reason to feel uncomfortable. I think one ends up learning new information from intense discussions.
However, when sometimes a dispute erupts we get too many pro bono attorneys (some even resurfacing from a hiatus) that converts a dispute into a street melee or even a riot. Being a forum, this is not surprising and comes with the territory and should be expected. It is upto the participant to decide if they will also pick up a stone, try to be a peace maker in the riot or walk away.<<< This has been my observation over the years from a number of acrimonius disputes.
What I find distasteful is my observations of what I consider pot shots. What may look like a benign post many times is intended to needle a member. When that observation is made a number of times, it is no longer a paranoia but a fact, a fact that is not necessarily visible to all but to more frequent participants. And the holier than thou and the popular ones too engage in it except that they may not accept that they do. There is an easy way to handle that also and that is to ignore - period. I personally follow this rule. I do not engage in discussions with some personality types that rub me the wrong way except for very rare occasions and it has served me well (use mental ignore or the forum ignore function).
We do not gel well with certain personality types and we cannot change the other person and in an open forum all personality types are welcome, so it is upto the individual to judiciously decide where to engage. However not all do that and so sometimes this needling continues both ways despite repeated promises to stay away. Having been in this forum since its formation, I have seen this more than a few times.
You are also going to see groupism, ganging up, surfacing only at the opportune moment, shying away, etc etc, so if you are expecting harmony in a democratic online forum, I think unrealistic expectations. Harmony can be created if the forum became autocratic where the admins just put people out of the forum at their slightest perception of disharmony. That would mean admins take the role of a headmaster with a cane in one hand and open slap in another. I like the forum as it is where essentially everything is fine, except egregious attacks, spam, and porn and profanity.
Member Rbee quoted a post - I disagree with the assertion or a percieved observation in that post by Raj that this forum had become a power trip for a few. We can perhaps agree to disagree. This statement is made not to solicit a lengthy discussion but to air an opposing view which I hold to a statement quoted in this thread.
It is possible that some of my observations are way off the mark.
I think I have said my piece and my peace, adios for now.
Harmonious Discussions?
Desi;416498
What I find distasteful is my observations of what I consider pot shots. What may look like a benign post many times is intended to needle a member. When that observation is made a number of times, it is no longer a paranoia but a fact, a fact that is not necessarily visible to all but to more frequent participants. And the holier than thou and the popular ones too engage in it except that they may not accept that they do. There is an easy way to handle that also and that is to ignore - period. I personally follow this rule. I do not engage in discussions with some personality types that rub me the wrong way except for very rare occasions and it has served me well (use mental ignore or the forum ignore function).
Couldn't agree more.. My sentiments exactly. Thanks for wording it so well.