Single 27yr old male. Thinking about R2A. Recent R2I

[seige]

I look forward to a lot of help from this forum as I am really going nuts.

I returned to India in April, 2012. It was very random and all of a sudden. The feeling of R2I was growing within me for years and then I just randomly quit my job at a startup in SFO, packed my bags and came back to Delhi after 5 yrs in US.

My employer in US agreed to consider it a long vacation and not cancel my H1-B. I checked with an attorney in US and was informed that I can basically stay out of US on H1-B easily for 6 months or so.

Its been 3 months now and I am completely out of sorts.

Reasons I am thinking of R2A, already:

1) I don't want to work for big companies in India. There are a few startups in India worth trying out but none that I am extremely excited to work at.
2) I had this weird thought in my head before R2I that my social life will be better in India. It is not. Delhi is infact more strange to me than ever before. I have never lived here. My folks moved to Delhi while I was gone.
3) All typical reasons of day to day struggle in India.
4) I realize now that R2I for folks who have huge family support, social and financial is feasible. I come from a middle class family though. I will have to fight for a lot of things again here in India.

Reasons I am thinking of staying:

1) I feel extremely guilty on the thought of R2A. My folks, though they will be supportive, will be disappointed. They are convinced that job scene in India is very good now. They are thinking typical IT body shops are good.
2) I think its too early. Its been only 3 months.

The last 4 months or so have been a huge emotional ride for me. What should be my plan of action? I am already here in India since 3 months now.

Thanks in advance.

[okonomi]

I look forward to a lot of help from this forum as I am really going nuts.

I returned to India in April, 2012. It was very random and all of a sudden. The feeling of R2I was growing within me for years and then I just randomly quit my job at a startup in SFO, packed my bags and came back to Delhi after 5 yrs in US.

My employer in US agreed to consider it a long vacation and not cancel my H1-B. I checked with an attorney in US and was informed that I can basically stay out of US on H1-B easily for 6 months or so.

Its been 3 months now and I am completely out of sorts.

Reasons I am thinking of R2A, already:

1) I don't want to work for big companies in India. There are a few startups in India worth trying out but none that I am extremely excited to work at.
2) I had this weird thought in my head before R2I that my social life will be better in India. It is not. Delhi is infact more strange to me than ever before. I have never lived here. My folks moved to Delhi while I was gone.
3) All typical reasons of day to day struggle in India.
4) I realize now that R2I for folks who have huge family support, social and financial is feasible. I come from a middle class family though. I will have to fight for a lot of things again here in India.

Reasons I am thinking of staying:

1) I feel extremely guilty on the thought of R2A. My folks, though they will be supportive, will be disappointed. They are convinced that job scene in India is very good now. They are thinking typical IT body shops are good.
2) I think its too early. Its been only 3 months.

The last 4 months or so have been a huge emotional ride for me. What should be my plan of action? I am already here in India since 3 months now.

Thanks in advance.

If your social life in reality sucked big time, you are in the right internet forum. You may vent here 24/7, and there is always someone reading it.
Having said that, I have a kwestin: Are you "gainfully" employed in your stay in India/Delhi ? That is, Is your cashflow positive ?

Being employed somewhere (big, small, medium), in some organization will get you money, as well as a place of entertainment, camaraderie and social life. At 27, hanging out with relatives on a full time basis could be a drag. Even parents want their babies to go out and mix it up with the society at large.

[b2blr]

I returned to India in April, 2012. It was very random and all of a sudden. The feeling of R2I was growing within me for years and then I just randomly quit my job at a startup in SFO, packed my bags and came back to Delhi after 5 yrs in US.

OP, you don't mention the reasons you came back to India. I am assuming you had one or more reasons to do so, and goals you had set to achieve. If so, how have you progressed towards those goals?

R2I *will* be challenging. It is only those goals or reasons which will allow you to succeed in R2I.

As far as R2A is concerned, your H1B visa being valid is a huge trump card you hold that many R2Iers do not. You should think very hard about not squandering it.

[seige]

OP, you don't mention the reasons you came back to India. I am assuming you had one or more reasons to do so, and goals you had set to achieve. If so, how have you progressed towards those goals?

As far as R2A is concerned, your H1B visa being valid is a huge trump card you hold that many R2Iers do not. You should think very hard about not squandering it.

The reasons for R2I were manifold. Most importantly, I had this nagging feeling of being an immigrant in US which was just eating me from the inside. After coming back, I realize how home is not that much of home anyways. This feels like a spiral trap to me. I guess once an expat, you are always an expat. 'Home' is just a feeling.

For the R2A, I realize that H1-B being valid till next year is a big card. Has anyone had issues returning after 6 months on H1-B?

Much thanks for your response.:thup:

[Desi2return]

The reasons for R2I were manifold. Most importantly, I had this nagging feeling of being an immigrant in US which was just eating me from the inside. After coming back, I realize how home is not that much of home anyways. This feels like a spiral trap to me. I guess once an expat, you are always an expat. 'Home' is just a feeling.

For the R2A, I realize that H1-B being valid till next year is a big card. Has anyone had issues returning after 6 months on H1-B?

Much thanks for your response.:thup:

You are single and young...don't take life too seriously at this point....if you think R2I is a big mistake, just ditch the R2I idea and R2A. But keep in mind that you cannot keep going back and forth...I guess you can but it will cost you.

[seige]

You are single and young...don't take life too seriously at this point....if you think R2I is a big mistake, just ditch the R2I idea and R2A. But keep in mind that you cannot keep going back and forth...I guess you can but it will cost you.

I think the cost that you pay in deciding this is less financial and more emotional. Life has never been more tricky than this.

But usually, how do people feel when they R2A ? Is that atleast a closure to this entire escapade or there are still lingering thoughts?

[dell]

I think the cost that you pay in deciding this is less financial and more emotional. Life has never been more tricky than this.

But usually, how do people feel when they R2A ? Is that atleast a closure to this entire escapade or there are still lingering thoughts?

I think since your already in India, and you were fantasizing so much about going to India you might as well give India a little more time. I would say try different city, career or options and when your really really tired then just come back to USA and forget about going to India for the long term. It is possible you may return to USA and start thinking again oh while i was in India I should have done X or Y or XYZ. In India, you might as well do all your heart desires and X's, Y's, and XYZ and then return.

With an H1B this can be difficult or tricky to manage so its really what the work permit laws allow.

[indian_at_heart]

OP, there in no limit to staying out of the US when on H1B. You could even stay out for 2 years and re-enter if it is to the same job and H1B is valid. I think the only thing to check is at the time of entry you have at least 6 months remaining on the H1B. (this is my understanding, please verify through your employer's attorney or on a immigration site like rajiv khanna/sheila murthy)

as to the feeling of R2A, you will feel afresh as you first landed till the next 7 year-itch starts!

[roxstar]

Hmmm you may be showing early signs of "chronic misfitism"....a common disease that affects people who think were they are is worse than where they have come from!!! Dont worry you are not alone. It is a well entrentched disease where people come to the US and live almost all their time in nostalgia about India they left behind. That is the India where they grew up, The India where they went to school, The India where they did not have any responsibilities, The India where they were carefree and had lots of time on their hands. The US in contrast seems dull....daily 9 - 5 grind, cold weather, responsibilites, H1B, Green card, job, career, bills etc etc. So soon thereafter they decide to go back to that India. The problem is time changes everything and on top of that the India they left behind has changed as well. Anyways, my reco is now that you are there, stay put and give India a fair chance. It is almost impossible that the old India you left behind will show up anytime soon. Good luck!