R2I Dilemma- Anyone in same boat??

[rsvictory]

Folks,

I have been a active reader of this forum. Thanks all for their time in sharing the valuable experiences.
Here is the situation I am in.

background: Myself, wife and 2 boys (10 and 7).
US Stay : 15 years
profession: Myself - IT PM with decent salary ; Wife - s/w engineer
Reason for R2I - Want to upbring the kids in India so that they can be part of the family roots. If we end up staying here, it will be the END to the family relationships etc.

Preferably planning to R2I to Hyderabad. Have not explored other cities. Banglaore is the next option(may be).

Situation : Trying to sell house (bought 7 years back). Threat of losing all my down payments(about 100k)
God only knows when the market is going to improve.

Savings: Overall 1 Cr + some plots etc in India.


Concerns: Please share your experiences
My older one will be going to 6th grade next year. Are we too late here?
I am 40+. Will I be able to find job easily in Hyderabad?
I cannot imagine going back to India without a job in hand.
Can I send wife and kids first in summer and then sell the house and go back?I feel its tough.
Selling house vs renting it out (Chicago market)
Really do not have plans to come back to USA

We feel we can take a shot trying to sell our house next year and then move on..

[back2desh]

Search and Read my diary if you can, I was pretty much in the same situation 2 years back as you are now, R2Ied 2 years back and settled quite well in Bangalore. Difference is that you are in a much comfortable situation than I am as you have overall 1 cr savings + some plots which is great to start with. If you can find internal transfer from your current employer then that would be a great approach as it will help you with initial settling. If Hyderabad does not work out, Bangalore is a great place!

All the best to your R2I, soon the school admission process is going to begin for the next academic year so if you are serious start working towards that, your kids are right at the right age to get adjusted fast, another 2-4 years it will be quite late for them to adjust.

[gshankar]

My older one will be going to 6th grade next year. Are we too late here?

OP, you are not alone. We are R2I-ing (to Chennai) next year and my son will be going to 6th grade as well. I am planning on CBSE or ICSE schools for my son. I did start him up on Hindi and Tamil since last year and he is able to read both the languages, but not upto speed in writing or comprehension. I know it might take him couple of years to catch up with local kids. The plan is to keep my expectations low and as long as my son passes the language exams, i am fine. I know, i am not much of a help here, but atleast you will feel better that there are people like you R2I-ing with middle school age kids.

[brokenarrow]

>>Reason for R2I - Want to upbring the kids in India so that they can be part of the family roots. If we end up staying here, it will be the END to the family relationships etc.

Not sure how you came to this conclusion. Perhaps if you mentioned your specific concern, then people may be able to offer you better advise. Assuming it is a typical dilemma/thought which we all go through, I think you are taking an alarmist view.

You should go on a extended visit to India, if possible. I was in Bangalore for 10 weeks, working remotely this year. It is not the same city which was even 10 years ago, to say the least. Unless you have a really good reason to R2I, don't rock the boat. And finding the right job at 40+ may not be that easy. Plus you have that threat of losing 100K, which is not a small amount.

[Old-Spice2]

Unless you have a really good reason to R2I, don't rock the boat.

What better reason than keeping the kids closer to family and letting them grow up as a fully rounded individual enjoying the interaction with extended family members? Yes everyone has different priorities in life.

Coming to OP's question:

6th grade is almost at the end of window for r2i. I know few families who r2i when their kid were in 11th but those are exceptions. I also know one friend whose son refused to r2i when they tried in 11th grade. They ended up LIA for now.

The kid has to put in extra effort for languages. You can do that by hiring private tutor. For rest of the subjects it will be easier to transition in 6th.

For jobs, yes 40+ is difficult unless you can manage internal transfer. Then you have the worry of getting laid off or company shutting down 4-5 years down the line. It will be harder to find a job after that. If you are really serious send your wife and kids first. Let them settle down and you can plan your return later.

[tkaval]

I am very much interested in thread and contributing. I am in same boat, but has not owned a home in US. planning to R2I also when my kid is in going to 6th grade to chennai. more than family bonding, i am in favor of giving them a diverse educational and development upbringing. it will make them hardened in their future years i feel. it is almost certain these kids will come to us for higher studies and may end up staying here. Also the fee for BS program without a scholarship is scaring me! If things dont work out we have to be prepared to come back, but as OP says if the expectation is low things will work out

[rsvictory]

Thanks for all the replies so far. Much appreciated. I am more of a practical person and have lot of What-If questions.

On the job front there is no such thing as internal transfer. I might have to try approaching some consulting firms and try it out.

@Old-Spice2 - Thanks for the input. I feel its either 6th grade or we are not going at all. It will either happen in 2013 or else we are stuck here for good.
@brokenarrow - Thanks for your input. I do not have the option of working remotely. nor we get extended vacations anymore. Infact companies here are too stingy even to give 3 weeks vacation at a time :)
on the house front, we cannot do anything at this point. It will take years for us to recover that amount.

@back2desh,gshankar - thanks for your inputs too. I will keep looking at the school options etc and keep you all posted.

[Chakraan]

Reason for R2I - Want to upbring the kids in India so that they can be part of the family roots. .

Did you ask your children if they want to be part of that so called "family roots" ?


I don't see any compelling reason for you to R2I by making 100k loss in the house at this time.

[puneri_punter]

Did you ask your children if they want to be part of that so called "family roots" ?

Very good and important question. You may be surprised by the response, as I was. I realized not to enforce our nostalgia and yearning on the kids.

[somebody]

OP - I tend to agree with brokenarrow. Your desire to grow the kids closer to the family and everything is very genuine and everybody can relate to it. What I am finding in the recent couple of years (since I r2Ied) is that you are effectively losing the closesness with family - as everybody is too busy - and nobody has time for you - esp, after you have come closer. I am hoping and wishful that it should work for you, if that is what you are aiming for with the r2i.

I have seen myself that the quality time with immediate family and extended family has been compromised due to work culture and stress around everything.

Also - You havent mentioned about your spouse's wish. If your wife is half hearted / not convinced, etc you are better off LIA. Period.

Sorry to discourage your move. r2I is important and very much enjyable, but you need to have stronger drivers and spouse cmpletely bought in.