R2I but how soon?

snehshah · Post by **snehshah** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 7:44 am

Hi everyone,

Firstly, the website is great and helpful from what I've read around different topics on the site. Now, my story is an unusual one I guess compared to many people here. I'm 22 years old and most of the posts, I've read so far people are married generally. I'm studying Bsc Computer science, in my final year now..

Anyway, my background: 22 years old male, moved to UK with whole family (4 of us - parents, sister)in 2004. I was 13 years old when we moved. We are originally from Ahmedabad in India. We all now have British Passports with OCI (dual citizenship).

Father is psychiatrist and we have a comfortable life (i.e. house, cars). Father is happy here, enjoying his work and doesn't want to retire till another 6-7 years, he is 51 now.

Sister is settled here now and doesn't want to go back at all.

Initially, we all had tough time settling, when we came in 2004. We were living in a city called liverpool in England, then after a year we moved to london in an area where lot of indians live (parents, sister decided to move). And, everyone settled in well after that. I was 14 and slowly i started to live like normal. Completed school, made few friends (not a lot) and never thought about going back to India until I was 19-20. That's mainly because i used to play cricket a lot and wanted to become a professional so was busy in that mostly. Those few years went by mostly because of that. Recently, 2 years ago I realised that cricket is not what i want to make a career in, it was possible if I worked very hard. Anyway, when I was 18-19 I started noticing that I'm still indian from heart and mind, didn't change.. partly because I've never had any british friends maybe.. also the way people generally socialise (which is mainly drinking, clubbing) is not something that interests me. Anyway, long story short now I pretty much feel upset everyday now (since I realised that I'm still more of an Indian) that i did not enjoy the school, college/univeristy life the way I wanted.. which was socialising with friends and families the way you would in India.. celebrating festivals, birthdays, occasions like weddings etc. I don't have that many friends here, life has been boring at times, it is partly my fault as well that I have just stopped making an effort ever since I started feeling that I want to be india. Now, whatever the past has been the I have some options in my mind for the future:

Option1: Complete my final year. Get a job here and r2i after 3-5 years. I'd like to marry someone from a'bad and she can work for a year or two here and move back with me (depends if I marry by then).

Option2: Get a job here, stay here till I'm married and have kids.. wait till they are 4-5 years old and then move back.. I don't want to raise them here at any cost.

Option3: Complete my final year and move back next year and get a job there. I want to do this but my concern is that the starting salaries will be low and i may not have the money to buy all the things I would want.

Option4: Work here in UK for 1-2 years, make some amount of money to help me with expenses (extra) in india..

Settling back is not an issue. We have a house there in a'bad, other family members would help settling too. The challenge would just be getting a job (in IT/Software) asap..

I haven't explained the entire part of my story as well as I'd have liked and it's quite long as well.. but nevertheless I'd appreciate any of your advise or opinions on this. Thanks.

triveni · Post by **triveni** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 8:14 am

At 22 you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. No need to berate for things not done. Finish your graduation and go study further in India if you really feel your callin there.
Or get a job. Think of marriage a little later. Look at what YOU personally want to experience, learn and do for the next few years.

HeySar · Post by **HeySar** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 9:53 am

I feel very differently from #2. Many in this forum might say that children need to r2i before the age of 10, so that it is easy to pick up the language in all its nuances etc.. Moving child to India at 22 would indeed be too late. Not that it cannot be done. There'd be a price to pay.

snehshah · Post by **snehshah** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 5:17 pm

triveni;478455At 22 you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. No need to berate for things not done. Finish your graduation and go study further in India if you really feel your callin there.
Or get a job. Think of marriage a little later. Look at what YOU personally want to experience, learn and do for the next few years.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Chakraan · Post by **Chakraan** » Sun Nov 04, 2012 9:44 pm

This is very unique case.

You were uprooted from India at the age of 13 that is quite late, No wonder you are still Indian by heart.

I would go for option 4.

snehshah · Post by **snehshah** » Mon Nov 05, 2012 7:21 am

guptaj;478499What about love, At your age this is what is/should be filled in a boys head. I do not know if you delibrately hiding that point. Since you come from a well to do family, I guess career/job should not be causing you stress.

At the moment there is no one in my life, actually since last 3 years and i don't expect that to change either for another 2-3 years. Job wouldn't be a problem IF i decided to work here, well in the beginning it would be but I would have more stress though if I decided to go and work in India straight away as the system there, workplaces and everything is bit different, new to me .. so that would be stressful I guess but I'm sure i could manage hopefully.. I will see when my graduation is about to complete next year and decide what to do and when to r2i..

KirKS · Post by **KirKS** » Tue Nov 06, 2012 10:23 pm

Since you have a British Passport, reentry to UK is not an issue.

And you are young. My suggestion is that you finish your degree and go back to India. Go with an open mindset that you are going to try for 2 years to make it happen in Gujarat. If it doesn't you will head back to UK and look for a job or higher study option. That way, you won't have much pressure.

Don't worry about marriage right now, unless you get a girl and want to settle down right away.

My guess is that you will work out just fine in India. Once your craving for living in India works out fine, ask yourself in 2015, if you want to settle in India or UK. Right now, just plan for 3 years. 1 year to complete study, 2 years for a job hunt & job in India. You obviously will get less money than UK, but if you heart is in India, you have absolutely nothing to lose!

Go for it young man. You are at a stage, where your parents are well settled, healthy (I hope), no responsibility in either of the country (financially), immigration is not an issue for both nations... People would kill to be in your position of total freedom :)

- Kiran

CulturalWisdom · Post by **CulturalWisdom** » Wed Nov 07, 2012 6:15 am

HeySar;478458I feel very differently from #2. Many in this forum might say that children need to r2i before the age of 10, so that it is easy to pick up the language in all its nuances etc.. Moving child to India at 22 would indeed be too late. Not that it cannot be done. There'd be a price to pay.

Why would that be the case for him? He came here at nearly adolescence and him going back to India shouldn't be a issue. Anyway, I agree with others that it's best to finish your education first and then decide what you want to do. I can say though that trying to complete your education while married can be difficult, especially if you have kids as well..so be careful and think carefully before deciding. Wish you the best and hope it works out for you.