Has anyone here R2I'ed against your spouse's wish? If so, how did you deal with it? My background -
- Me (31), wife (29); both on H1B; working in IT
- GC pending, PD June 2011 (EB2), no hopes in the near future
- 1 kid (aged 2), USC; no plans for second kid
- All paid for 3BHK apartment in Hyderabad
- INR 1 Cr in Savings
Reason for R2I: Very stressful job (me). Wife is fine with hers but is concerned about me. I want to take a break from work for 1 year, and find something decent that can at least pay the monthly bills. Wife is not keen on R2I. She likes the lifestyle here. Not sure what to do. I don't have the energy to deal with changing employers (H1B change, file GC again and what not!)
R2I against your spouse\'s wish?
R2I against your spouse's wish?
It's not going to be an easy search, but if you search through these forums many have R2Ied against their spouse' wishes though it may not have been mentioned explicitly. It has been both ways. Sometimes it's the wife and sometimes it's the husband who doesn't want to R2I.
If job stress is the only reason then why not look for a new job which is not very stressful? Again if you scan through these forums, R2I works well only when there are strong reasons. Or at least one has to have very strong feelings to R2I.
If your heart continuosly longs for R2I then take the leadership role, be prepared for all the discomforts in India, be confident, convince your wife and R2I. IMO, with all that you have mentioned, you're a good candidate to R2I. Since your wife is also concerned about you, it's easier. Keep her happier if you want R2I to be smooth. If I were in your boat, one fine day I'll put my paper (at work), return to home, throw out that damned office bag, plant a good kiss on wify and kiddy and tell them we're are R2Iing in a month's time.
If job stress is the only reason then why not look for a new job which is not very stressful? Again if you scan through these forums, R2I works well only when there are strong reasons. Or at least one has to have very strong feelings to R2I.
If your heart continuosly longs for R2I then take the leadership role, be prepared for all the discomforts in India, be confident, convince your wife and R2I. IMO, with all that you have mentioned, you're a good candidate to R2I. Since your wife is also concerned about you, it's easier. Keep her happier if you want R2I to be smooth. If I were in your boat, one fine day I'll put my paper (at work), return to home, throw out that damned office bag, plant a good kiss on wify and kiddy and tell them we're are R2Iing in a month's time.
R2I against your spouse's wish?
First of all Happy wife = Happy life :)) ... so you'd both have to be on same page to do R2I. Some people/women usually have a bigger heart, so your wife might jolly well be your side on this R2I journey. Talk to you DW and see what apprehensions she has about Indian lifestyle. In a relation you both have to be on same page. Avoid situation like this -
US = You unhappy, she happy
Ind = You happy, she unhappy
Both should be happy, otherwise one-half's stress might affect a child's upbringing.
Secondly, you have made some decent savings ... so congratulations on that front too. You could with your current savings get about INR 65-70k (before tax) per month as interest. If you wife gets job as well in India, you will be able to maintain +ve cashflow.
[quote]reason for r2i: Very stressful job (me).[/quote] I am not sure if this is a compelling reason for you to R2I. You want to take a break for a year or so ... that might be on your disadvantage when you start looking for job. From what I have read on forum, it looks like gap between jobs is not favored. Well, this is all assuming you want to continue in IT.
Let's say you did R2I, what if an unstressful job becomes elusive? What I am trying to get is that, you need to have more solid reasons to R2I than just job. You would want to hold on to those reasons if/when you start contemplating R2A. If not job, there are going to be other stress factors too once you are in India. You haven't mentioned how long you & your wife were in US ... the longer you are here, the longer it will take you to get adjusted. Bad roads, traffic, pollution, sab chalta hai attitude can be stress inducing.
Since you donot want to go thro H1 refile, PERM/I140 etc, ask yourself this question ... if you had a GC and then a stressfull job like you do now, would you still want to do R2I?
US = You unhappy, she happy
Ind = You happy, she unhappy
Both should be happy, otherwise one-half's stress might affect a child's upbringing.
Secondly, you have made some decent savings ... so congratulations on that front too. You could with your current savings get about INR 65-70k (before tax) per month as interest. If you wife gets job as well in India, you will be able to maintain +ve cashflow.
[quote]reason for r2i: Very stressful job (me).[/quote] I am not sure if this is a compelling reason for you to R2I. You want to take a break for a year or so ... that might be on your disadvantage when you start looking for job. From what I have read on forum, it looks like gap between jobs is not favored. Well, this is all assuming you want to continue in IT.
Let's say you did R2I, what if an unstressful job becomes elusive? What I am trying to get is that, you need to have more solid reasons to R2I than just job. You would want to hold on to those reasons if/when you start contemplating R2A. If not job, there are going to be other stress factors too once you are in India. You haven't mentioned how long you & your wife were in US ... the longer you are here, the longer it will take you to get adjusted. Bad roads, traffic, pollution, sab chalta hai attitude can be stress inducing.
Since you donot want to go thro H1 refile, PERM/I140 etc, ask yourself this question ... if you had a GC and then a stressfull job like you do now, would you still want to do R2I?
R2I against your spouse's wish?
Thanks everyone for the responses!
@suba - The reason I don't want to change jobs right now is because of the H1B/GC hassle. If I had GC, I would have left this job a long time ago. I tried talking to my wife about R2I but she is not entirely convinced. She will R2I solely because of her concern for me but not whole-heartedly.
@Dreaming - We've been living in US since the last 6 years. Her main concerns are that she does not have freedom in India, lots of traffic & pollution, kid's education and fun activities.
@Chakraan - you nailed it! :)
@suba - The reason I don't want to change jobs right now is because of the H1B/GC hassle. If I had GC, I would have left this job a long time ago. I tried talking to my wife about R2I but she is not entirely convinced. She will R2I solely because of her concern for me but not whole-heartedly.
@Dreaming - We've been living in US since the last 6 years. Her main concerns are that she does not have freedom in India, lots of traffic & pollution, kid's education and fun activities.
Dreaming;481986if you had a GC and then a stressfull job like you do now, would you still want to do R2I?Not until becoming USC! You bring an interesting perspective! I never looked at it that way. If I had GC right now, I would resign, move to Dallas (my wife likes hot weather), buy a house, a pet, and stay put for a while.
@Chakraan - you nailed it! :)