R2I dilemma - piece of advice

karmausa · Post by **karmausa** » Wed Sep 07, 2016 5:06 am

I R2Ied and R2Aed a couple of years back.. with a short stint in India.

If you still have parents who are alive, you have kids who are still young enough, your immigration situation allows and you are still in a dilemma/on the fence whether to try R2I not - I wanted to pass on a advice to go ahead and please take the plunge to R2I. Even though my R2I was a failure (basically I couldn't adjust to India even though my family did) I still cherish the time I spent with parents/in laws there. You can always come back if things don't work out. As years roll by, our parents/in laws (and loved ones there) will pass away and at that time there will be nothing you can do - even if you had all the time/money.

I have been meaning to post this for a while - but the thought was strongest today. Hope it helps someone who is on the fence about it..

wd40 · Post by **wd40** » Wed Sep 07, 2016 9:18 am

Thanks karmausa, in your case you had the "insurance" of always being able to come back. What would you say if it was not so crystal clear. You know how the world is becoming more and more populist and in future robots will take over. All developed countries will protect their own citizens and in future it will become impossible to go abroad.

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okonomi · Post by **okonomi** » Wed Sep 07, 2016 10:29 am

wd40;637475
karmausa;637462I R2Ied and R2Aed a couple of years back.. with a short stint in India.

If you still have parents who are alive, you have kids who are still young enough, your immigration situation allows and you are still in a dilemma/on the fence whether to try R2I not - I wanted to pass on a advice to go ahead and please take the plunge to R2I. Even though my R2I was a failure (basically I couldn't adjust to India even though my family did) I still cherish the time I spent with parents/in laws there. You can always come back if things don't work out. As years roll by, our parents/in laws (and loved ones there) will pass away and at that time there will be nothing you can do - even if you had all the time/money.
I have been meaning to post this for a while - but the thought was strongest today. Hope it helps someone who is on the fence about it..
Thanks karmausa, in your case you had the "insurance" of always being able to come back. What would you say if it was not so crystal clear. You know how the world is becoming more and more populist and in future robots will take over. All developed countries will protect their own citizens and in future it will become impossible to go abroad....

And then we'll be able to send a robot over to India to be with the ageing parents..... especially if one had all the money necessary to buy a robot.

Zens · Post by **Zens** » Wed Sep 07, 2016 5:32 pm

Karmausa, exact reason we did R2I. Don't want to repent not doing it 10yrs down the line. The best thing that could happen is settle in India. The worst outcome would be, one might R2A but would have gained so much in those few years spent in India.

LBRS · Post by **LBRS** » Wed Sep 07, 2016 5:37 pm

I completely agree with the OP. We R2I in 2008 stayed there for almost 8 years and we just R2A. We came back because of change in priorities in life and wouldn't necessarily call our R2I a failure. We had challenges in the beginning but the benefits staying in India longer outweigh those challenges. The emotional bonding kids would get with grand parents, extended family and the exposure they would get in India is invaluable.

wd40 · Post by **wd40** » Wed Sep 07, 2016 7:08 pm

It completely depends on the individuals situation. No one size fits all. I have seen joint families which have problems, fights, quarrels. In my entire life I have never seen sister in law's get along well. They always fight. I have never seen 2 brother's wife's getting along well. I have never seen mother in law and daughter in law getting along well. All this stuff we see in movies about hum Saath Saath hein is bullshit. Never works. Daughter is daughter, daughter in law is daughter in law. They can never be the same.

Nuclear families are better. Kids learn home politics quickly when they are in joint families. Jealousy, comparison between cousins/siblings all rife in Indian joint families. No thanks! I have borne the brunt of it all.

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karode · Post by **karode** » Thu Sep 08, 2016 7:40 am

I have R2I in July 2014 and still going strong .... Agree with most, it is a mixed bag.

As a Pune dude I had always missed the festivities during ganpati festival. For the last 2 years I am making up for it :)

Kids have made new friends, bonded with the in laws and extended family, have caught up with the hinglish ("you know naa" [emoji3]). Wife is the happiest after R2I I with all the relatives, festivals and shopping in our home town.

I am kinda in two minds though. Career wise I have a safe comfy job but not much future prospects. I could monetize on my skills much better if I R2A. Also to maintain a decent standard of living, you have to pay through nose for the services one is used to in USA. Basic traffic and hygiene issues still make me cringe...

But I 100% agree with the OP, if possible just do it and the enjoy the poetic chaos in our motherland [emoji3]

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