Hi all,
I have been here in the USA for the past 14 years..I cannot complain much because I have seen a lot of places,experiences like skating,skiing,hiking,snorkeling,paragliding,sky diving,rafting..things which I would not have experienced back in India at least in my case. Also,my neighbors here are good,wonderful kids,lovely home,lot of Indians around etc..Life is good.Only after coming to USA many of my dreams came true and every time I go to India, I can afford to spend more because we earn better here.However,I always keep missing India.I have my mom out there and my elder brother.All my other relatives have settled in USA and I do not even have much friends there.As kids keep growing,the fear that I may never return back increases..It scares me a lot to die alone in a foreign land.
Hubby keeps asking"what fear?secondly,what are your plans after moving to India?"..I do not have any concrete answer.
I will be a homemaker there and once in a while, meet my mom and brother..probably sooner or later I may make friends in the community and start to go out for functions and festivals.If I get some close friends,I might go out once in a while.Then there will be movies and once in few months take a short trip somewhere.that's all..
Hubby said "that's what you do here in America"Hmm..true.However,I do not have much functions or festivals here and even if it did,it never felt the same.Movies are watched mostly online than theaters.OK OK...yes I do not have a definite answer.
SENSE OF BELONGING.THAT IS WHAT I MISS THE MOST.To go back to our country where I belong.To see human beings and hear sounds around you and not live in dead silence.not in a lonely planet.that's all.Otherwise I have no problem in America. In fact,life is so organized and relaxed here.Husband says he cannot adjust to the work politics in India anymore and he has many friends in USA. Kids are liking it in America.However,He says he will go back to India if that is what I want and adapt.
I feel so guilty.Nothing is stopping me from going back...Anyways, I also have to mention,
1) I won't get the luxuries/Vacations etc which I had in America back in India(At least in our situation)
2) Kids are doing well in America.good school,friends and they love it here.I don't know how different it is for them there..
3) My mom comes here almost once in a year and a half or we go there..at least for now.
4) As much as I love my privacy here,there is a sense of loneliness in America.I am sure in India one won't feel lonely as I am assuming I will make lots of friends..
Anyways,going back to India just for the "sense of belonging" worth it??
p.s: In a lighter note,FB also kind of screwed up my head :) The way people dress up,spend,party,enjoy in India makes one feel whether we gave up on our country too soon and came to America.India seems to be having the best of both worlds..
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
Abhinaya;637647.....Just do it. Find out and post a diary of your life -- dress up,spend,party,enjoy.
Anyways,going back to India just for the "sense of belonging" worth it??
Abhinaya;637647p.s: In a lighter note,FB also kind of screwed up my head :) The way people dress up,spend,party,enjoy in India makes one feel whether we gave up on our country too soon and came to America.India seems to be having the best of both worlds..Yes. It is true. Indians on FB have lots of fun.
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
Saw this on a bumpersticker -
May your life be as glamorous as your Facebook profile!
May your life be as glamorous as your Facebook profile!
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
Seems like you are just bored. It happens to us in USA a lot since everything is smooth in day to day life. This is what is called as a first world problem.
In a perfect world, say if we had a million $ in the bank, we can just go live in India for a year or two just for the change, and if things don't pan out, come back and try to rebuild the old life back.
Why dont you all plan such that you can take an extended vacation during summer break, say for 2.5 to 3 months, maybe that will give you an idea of pain vs fun in India.
In a perfect world, say if we had a million $ in the bank, we can just go live in India for a year or two just for the change, and if things don't pan out, come back and try to rebuild the old life back.
Why dont you all plan such that you can take an extended vacation during summer break, say for 2.5 to 3 months, maybe that will give you an idea of pain vs fun in India.
Abhinaya;637647Hi all,
I have been here in the USA for the past 14 years..I cannot complain much because I have seen a lot of places,experiences like skating,skiing,hiking,snorkeling,paragliding,sky diving,rafting..things which I would not have experienced back in India at least in my case. Also,my neighbors here are good,wonderful kids,lovely home,lot of Indians around etc..Life is good.Only after coming to USA many of my dreams came true and every time I go to India, I can afford to spend more because we earn better here.However,I always keep missing India.I have my mom out there and my elder brother.All my other relatives have settled in USA and I do not even have much friends there.As kids keep growing,the fear that I may never return back increases..It scares me a lot to die alone in a foreign land.
Hubby keeps asking"what fear?secondly,what are your plans after moving to India?"..I do not have any concrete answer.
I will be an homemaker there and once in a while, meet my mom and brother..probably sooner or later I may make friends in the community and start to go out for functions and festivals.If I get some close friends,I might go out once in a while.Then there will be movies and once in few months take a short trip somewhere.that's all..
Hubby said "that's what you do here in America"Hmm..true.However,I do not have much functions or festivals here and even if it did,it never felt the same.Movies are watched mostly online than theaters.OK OK...yes I do not have a definite answer.
SENSE OF BELONGING.THAT IS WHAT I MISS THE MOST.To go back to our country where I belong.To see human beings and hear sounds around you and not live in dead silence.not in a lonely planet.that's all.Otherwise I have no problem in America. In fact,life is so organized and relaxed here.Husband says he cannot adjust to the work politics in India anymore and he has many friends in USA. Kids are liking it in America.However,He says he will go back to India if that is what I want and adapt.
I feel so guilty.Nothing is stopping me from going back...Anyways, I also have to mention,
1) I won't get the luxuries/Vacations etc which I had in America back in India(At least in our situation)
2) Kids are doing well in America.good school,friends and they love it here.I don't know how different it is for them there..
3) My mom comes here almost once in a year and a half or we go there..at least for now.
4) As much as I love my privacy here,there is a sense of loneliness in America.I am sure in India one won't feel lonely as I am assuming I will make lots of friends..
Anyways,going back to India just for the "sense of belonging" worth it??
p.s: In a lighter note,FB also kind of screwed up my head :) The way people dress up,spend,party,enjoy in India makes one feel whether we gave up on our country too soon and came to America.India seems to be having the best of both worlds..
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
My Post scriptum seems to have attracted more attention than the actual thread by itself..
What I meant is "On a lighter side",people in India do seem to be having fun in life generally,so coming to America for a "better life" seems to be not needed anymore unless you have finance problems..
Apart from the P.S,for those who returned to India,did you get the sense of belonging and how do you feel life is after going back to our country?
After all it is our country,still I see some R2Iers returning back to America because they were not able to adjust..
What I meant is "On a lighter side",people in India do seem to be having fun in life generally,so coming to America for a "better life" seems to be not needed anymore unless you have finance problems..
Apart from the P.S,for those who returned to India,did you get the sense of belonging and how do you feel life is after going back to our country?
After all it is our country,still I see some R2Iers returning back to America because they were not able to adjust..
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GutsyGibbon
- Posts: 1267
- Joined: Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:56 am
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
Abhinaya;637647experiences like skating,skiing,hiking,snorkeling,paragliding,sky diving,rafting..things which I would not have experienced back in India at least in my case.
Step these up a notch. Start a Meetup group or a FB group in your community/city. You will get like minded people, you can enjoy these experiences that you enjoyed - further. These days the people I connect with, are the ones who enjoy my favorite activities. Motorcycles, Tennis, SUPing - whatever. Also volunteering in your community increases the sense of belonging. Join a beach/park/lake/river cleanup meetup group. Most Humans are social beings, and definitely crave for that connection.
If you have something specific that you want to do in India and you can find someone else to share that moment on FB with you - go for it. My friends who have R2Ied have done so with loads of cash, they drop Rs70k on an iPhone & Rs40L on a Ducati. Eating Maddur Vada an a highway sitting on a Ducati certainly makes for a fine FB pic on their iPhone. Makes me want to do the same. Fortunately my reality and common sense sets me straight. :)
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sumachechi
- Posts: 1339
- Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:00 am
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
Iam going to answer one specific question of yours- The sense of belonging
That was the main driver of our R2i 7/8 year ago. We are a doctor couple from the UK and life was good at the time. We knew that we did not want to grow old there. So we moved to a city where we had no professional network and on lower salaries . Kids adjusted, one in a good college now, other still in school.
For us it was a good decision. I do miss the GBP cheque in my account at the end of the month but am a much happier and more creative person in India.
We did not ask anyone if our decision was right. But we both felt the same way. If we had asked for opinions, many may have dissuaded. In good faith.
Has it been easy- Yes and No
I do have nice pics on FB of fabulous locations and a few adventures
That was the main driver of our R2i 7/8 year ago. We are a doctor couple from the UK and life was good at the time. We knew that we did not want to grow old there. So we moved to a city where we had no professional network and on lower salaries . Kids adjusted, one in a good college now, other still in school.
For us it was a good decision. I do miss the GBP cheque in my account at the end of the month but am a much happier and more creative person in India.
We did not ask anyone if our decision was right. But we both felt the same way. If we had asked for opinions, many may have dissuaded. In good faith.
Has it been easy- Yes and No
I do have nice pics on FB of fabulous locations and a few adventures
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
its all about the bank balance. If you are loaded, you can do anything in your life and live anywhere. But since most of us are not, so we compromise in life and live where we do not want to live. For a rich person, life is really good in india as compared to USA/UK.
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
I am in US for over 30 years. Ever since I cam to US from day one until few years ago I always wanted to go back to India and live my rest of life in India the country I love even to today. But few years ago I saw some grey pictures(reality) of India which made me open my eyes and although I love India I had to change my mind not that I am happy to change my decision to retire in India but the circumstances has made me to do so. If things change in India to my likings I am still ready to retire in India. By the way I am retiring from my current job in February of 2018. At present we have decided to retire in Kissimmee, Florida. But like I said if things improve in India I may change my mind and retire in India. My biggest fear to retire in India is health care in India. I was told by many people in India that health care(hospitals and doctors) are not trust worthy and also very expensive to get the same kind of treatment that we get in US especially for people like me who is covered by my existing govt job which give me the same medical coverage after I retire for me and my wife. I only have to contribute 2.5% of my pension towards the medical and I have to pay $10 for doctors visit, $25 for in patient hospital total care. $10 for any visit to specialist doctor. Even if the health care is better in India than US but for me based on what I get in US, it will not work out for me. If any one who is expert in medical field in India can convince me that I am wrong than I may change my mind. Also I have seen people who visit India fall sick and some of them I have seen suffer a lot and for very long time even after coming back to US after their visit. This scares me and I feel not safe even to visit India. I know social life in India is far far better than US and on this context you can not even come close to India but just the social life is not enough for some one to retire in India and you need much more than this which India fails to provide when compered to US which beats India hands down. It may not be true with every once circumstances but at least in my opinion it is very much true. So if I have to advice any one who is planning to retire in India. Please think it over very deeply pros and cons of retiring in India. Do not ever make the decisions based on emotions but make the decision by putting your mind in to it and not just the heart.
R2I just for " sense of belonging" ???
I returned from UK where I had free health care. It may not be up to US level. I have no idea. My son in usa does complain a lot about the doctors there but then he is him.
It was excellent for me in UK. I had two emergencies and the prompt response and very dedicated doctors pulled me through. A couple of time DW also needed expert attention though not an emergency and she did receive it promptly. Once even too prompt. She was offered surgery next week but some family members were coming over and the doctor when told just asked when can you come and scheduled a serious surgery on the date.
But I have returned to India to be with my friends and very happy with the medical support I have received so far. It is indeed dismal for poor people that can not afford simple consultations and medicines. I am not a rich man but I feel I can afford most emergencies.
When I have to go I shall go. It may be to meet my maker or if I have time; back to UK where with british passport I can still receive the NHS care.
It was excellent for me in UK. I had two emergencies and the prompt response and very dedicated doctors pulled me through. A couple of time DW also needed expert attention though not an emergency and she did receive it promptly. Once even too prompt. She was offered surgery next week but some family members were coming over and the doctor when told just asked when can you come and scheduled a serious surgery on the date.
But I have returned to India to be with my friends and very happy with the medical support I have received so far. It is indeed dismal for poor people that can not afford simple consultations and medicines. I am not a rich man but I feel I can afford most emergencies.
When I have to go I shall go. It may be to meet my maker or if I have time; back to UK where with british passport I can still receive the NHS care.