Indians in America facing different Phases in Life.....A Must Read Article.....

LoveIndia · Post by **LoveIndia** » Sun Apr 01, 2018 11:17 pm

Dear Friends - It's been very long that I posted and am doing fine with my family. I have improved a lot in terms of my health and am happy in India as my R2I is now 7 years old. I am copying a post from quora forum which describes so beautifully about Indians in America and their different Phases in Life....At least in my life, I am clearly seeing where I am in this picture as I moved to India at current stage and age and now feel happy that R2I is the best option for me as I escaped from suffering phase as listed by the article. Please click the following link to read the article:

https://www.quora.com/Is-settling-in-the-USA-worth-it-for-an-Indian

Admins: I have pasted the link above and if I have violated any rule, please delete this post as I felt this post is beautifully written and will help R2I dilemma holders to make an effective decision.

techynt · Post by **techynt** » Mon Apr 02, 2018 1:13 am

Isn't the right answer: "It depends"?

Whatever floats your boat, wherever, be there and have fun...

rmandy · Post by **rmandy** » Mon Apr 02, 2018 7:46 am

Would like to see similar chart of people living in India for better comparison.. Relationships is the center of that entire blog in that link but they are not quite rosy anywhere.. it all depends...

vasu123 · Post by **vasu123** » Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:03 am

If you see people who came after 2005 on H1, their life so bad because GC wait time of EB2, EB3 for India moving very slowly. All Tech companies are doing lobbying to move Indian EB GC dates slowly so that those companies can use each person for 12-15 years. These people always need to worry about H1 immigration process. Nobody is fixing this issue.

crazyforger · Post by **crazyforger** » Mon Apr 02, 2018 10:50 am

LoveIndia;673058Dear Friends - It's been very long that I posted and am doing fine with my family. I have improved a lot in terms of my health and am happy in India as my R2I is now 7 years old. I am copying a post from quora forum which describes so beautifully about Indians in America and their different Phases in Life....At least in my life, I am clearly seeing where I am in this picture as I moved to India at current stage and age and now feel happy that R2I is the best option for me as I escaped from suffering phase as listed by the article. Please click the following link to read the article:

https://www.quora.com/Is-settling-in-the-USA-worth-it-for-an-Indian

Admins: I have pasted the link above and if I have violated any rule, please delete this post as I felt this post is beautifully written and will help R2I dilemma holders to make an effective decision.

Very True.
Best way to crack it would be to earn and invest during transform phase and go back as soon as you have 2 kids. This way you can go back to India by the age of 35 and dont have to work for anyone.:thup:

tahoelocal · Post by **tahoelocal** » Tue Apr 03, 2018 1:33 am

i thought that article was disingenuous. it is unscientific and the author does acknowledge that. it makes the point about as you "settle" and "grow", """Happiness level comes down due to missing family relationships and not able to take care of aging parents.""". While this is partially true, it is not entirely correct. Not everyone settles here just for the career - as you settle in the USA, you grow your roots too - could be in the community, you pick up new hobbies/activities you can't live without (ask me about my user id), your kids/spouses grow their own roots, establish their social circles. The most important "roots" you tend to grow as you settle is establishing a close friend circle over here which at some level replaces your family relationships back home. When I go back to India, I find that my old friends & extended family have moved to other places themselves or we don't identify with them anymore (we still talk but at the same level as before).

This "growing your roots over here" aspect is never considered in that article. When I look around, I see that this "roots" thing trumps career, money and the convenience of living in a first world country like the US.

The point about "Few realize that their friends in India have made more money in India than them" seems incorrect to me.

GutsyGibbon · Post by **GutsyGibbon** » Tue Apr 03, 2018 4:40 am

The notion that people who are living in the US well into their retirement are suffering in some sort, never goes challenged. Comparing happiness and suffering is in itself challenging, when you add on this gross generalization, it becomes harder. Lonely people in bad health suffer everywhere. The same person will not escape suffering just by R2Iing.

puneri_punter · Post by **puneri_punter** » Tue Apr 03, 2018 6:13 am

The article is a text book example of over generalization and confirmation bias.

If the article said is true, then everyone who is upper middle class (lets say your typical IT professional) in the 50s in India will be very happy and content. A short trip to India will reveal that it the farthest thing from truth.
Also what use is a large family and friend circle if they don't come to your help in times of need. I can say with 100% confidence that my 2 close friends in US will help me out in need than my 20+ relatives in India.

znan · Post by **znan** » Tue Apr 03, 2018 6:58 pm

very well said. While I can not say that family/friends in India will not help as I have no such experiences, a solid friend's circle here in US makes life so much better. My brother is a classic example, he has so many friends all good and solid friends (yes ofcourse all drama with friends will be there) his crisis is handled like a war mission and his happy occasions are celebrated like festivities here in US!!! And I can not say the same about me, so generalizing does not apply.
What I can say though is India would offer more choices when it comes to people like me who are selective and particular. And I do have solid friends and family back in India who can go to any lengths for me. Most of them are my childhood and college friends and my siblings. It goes onto say that I am really bad at making new and fast relationships :).

PS: What my brother experiences is true for all of his friends circle so by that order my case could be an exception.

puneri_punter;673086The article is a text book example of over generalization and confirmation bias.

If the article said is true, then everyone who is upper middle class (lets say your typical IT professional) in the 50s in India will be very happy and content. A short trip to India will reveal that it the farthest thing from truth.
Also what use is a large family and friend circle if they don't come to your help in times of need. I can say with 100% confidence that my 2 close friends in US will help me out in need than my 20+ relatives in India.

desi4ever · Post by **desi4ever** » Tue Apr 03, 2018 9:46 pm

znan;673097very well said. While I can not say that family/friends in India will not help as I have no such experiences, a solid friend's circle here in US makes life so much better. My brother is a classic example, he has so many friends all good and solid friends (yes ofcourse all drama with friends will be there) his crisis is handled like a war mission and his happy occasions are celebrated like festivities here in US!!! And I can not say the same about me, so generalizing does not apply.
What I can say though is India would offer more choices when it comes to people like me who are selective and particular. And I do have solid friends and family back in India who can go to any lengths for me. Most of them are my childhood and college friends and my siblings. It goes onto say that I am really bad at making new and fast relationships :).

PS: What my brother experiences is true for all of his friends circle so by that order my case could be an exception.

Ditto for me..My brother is the one that has a "lot of good friends". I'm thinking of wearing a T-shirt or write on my forehead "Not accepting new friends"