Dear R2Iers,
I am looking for a good asylum for my wife who is chronically ill. She has been in deep depression and schizophrenia for the past 20+ years. I have tried all sorts of medications and therapies and nothing works and things are getting more and more difficult everyday.
About me: (56 Years - USC)
I am a very successful IT person living is US for the past 22years.
Two kids:
A Girl - 28 Years - MBA from Wharton - Working as Senior Product Manager in Amazon - Seattle
A Boy - 22 Years BS (Comp Sc.) - Working a Software Developer in Amazon - Seattle
No near or far relatives or friends in India to support me to even for a temporary transition. The society completely shuns the family that is embroiled with psychiatric and schizophrenic member. Even kids do not connect much because they grew up with this problem and it is time for them to take a break.
I tried Hombelaku at Kasturba Medical College, Manipal and it turned out to be a failure. If you know any good asylum to with quality living, please let me know.
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
omnaidu;675695Dear R2Iers,
I am looking for a good asylum for my wife who is chronically ill. She has been in deep depression and schizophrenia for the past 20+ years. I have tried all sorts of medications and therapies and nothing works and things are getting more and more difficult everyday.
About me: (56 Years - USC)
I am a very successful IT person living is US for the past 22years.
Two kids:
A Girl - 28 Years - MBA from Wharton - Working as Senior Product Manager in Amazon - Seattle
A Boy - 22 Years BS (Comp Sc.) - Working a Software Developer in Amazon - Seattle
No near or far relatives or friends in India to support me to even for a temporary transition. The society completely shuns the family that is embroiled with psychiatric and schizophrenic member. Even kids do not connect much because they grew up with this problem and it is time for them to take a break.
I tried Hombelaku at Kasturba Medical College, Manipal and it turned out to be a failure. If you know any good asylum to with quality living, please let me know.
Just as an FYI - you may already know this.
Invega Sustenna
https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/news/20080507/monthly-shot-treats-schizophrenia#1
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return2blore
- Posts: 260
- Joined: Wed Jan 31, 2007 3:55 pm
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
Would you be ok with Bangalore as a location? One of my friend's mom has been in a facility in Bangalore for a few years now. I know that her mom has depression and mental illness caused by hormonal imbalance. I do not know the exact name of the illness. Let me know if you want me to get the details of the facility, from my friend.
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
Desi;675697Just as an FYI - you may already know this.
Invega Sustenna
https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/news/20080507/monthly-shot-treats-schizophrenia#1
Oh!
She is on invega for the past 10 years. Even doctors are not doing anything other than taking regular appoints and billing. They say all these medications wane off in the long run. Also, she doesn't have drive to do anything. She gave up household chores 15 years back. Also, these medications trigger obesity, diabetes and BP, and she has all these. She just eats whatever I give and watches TV and sleeps.
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
Bangalore is not a problem. Can I have the web link? Are you talking about kadambari?
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TowardsHome
- Posts: 160
- Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2011 9:46 pm
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
omnaidu;675708Bangalore is not a problem. Can I have the web link? Are you talking about kadambari?
Can I suggest something ? I do not know much about long term care facilities in Bangalore ,but I would recommend this if you are living in Bangalore.
Bangalore is the home for nation's apex neuropsychiatry teaching facility- NIMHANS. Physicians working in NIMHANS should have a very good idea of these facilities as they see a large referral patient population who need some sort of assisted living . They have a specific department for psychiatric rehabilitation
http://www.nimhans.ac.in/psychiatric-rehabilitation
I would recommend consulting with some one in NIMHANS and ask for recommendations during the consult. You may not get much medically from the consult, but I am hoping that you will have good leads for the kind of rehabilitation you are looking for
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return2blore
- Posts: 260
- Joined: Wed Jan 31, 2007 3:55 pm
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
omnaidu;675708Bangalore is not a problem. Can I have the web link? Are you talking about kadambari?
This is my friend's reply :
My mom's place is not a hospital. It is a senior citizen home, where people are active and reasonably able to be up and about when they join there. If geriatric hospital care is required, they ask.us to take the person to a hospital. Your friend can visit the place and try anyway. The place is called Augustine Nivas. There are couple of entities within that called Cletas Home, Monica Home. The place is on Tavarekere Main road, off Hosur road. The present manager is Sister Lucy. Her number is +91 78297 67316 . The place is well managed and one of the cleanest places, people are also very tolerant towards inmates. Food is quite good. They don't provide individual nurses/attendants. If required we have to have our own person.
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
Kadabams is a good facility I know of in Bangalore. They have a in patient facility and i do know a lot of NRIs have a parent in this long term care mental health facility. This was initially started by this wealthy family who had difficulty for a family member who needed precisely such care and have now ended up having i think 2 or 3 such facilities in city of B'lore with good in house physicians on attendance as well as psychiatrist visiting regularly perhaps alternate days.
I was my self a student and later faculty in NIMHANS , though in Neurosurgery, but used to have close interaction with psychiatrists, and do know how the system works. Due to it being the only such apex institute from central govt (Now one of the 4 institutes of national importance by an act of parliament, others being AIIMS,PGI and JIPMER), exclusively for Brain related ailments, it is massively overcrowded as patients generally from weaker economic sections from all over the country come for treatment here. Long term rehab facility does have limited beds but there generally is a very long wait time.
Would suggest to try out Kadabams.
I was my self a student and later faculty in NIMHANS , though in Neurosurgery, but used to have close interaction with psychiatrists, and do know how the system works. Due to it being the only such apex institute from central govt (Now one of the 4 institutes of national importance by an act of parliament, others being AIIMS,PGI and JIPMER), exclusively for Brain related ailments, it is massively overcrowded as patients generally from weaker economic sections from all over the country come for treatment here. Long term rehab facility does have limited beds but there generally is a very long wait time.
Would suggest to try out Kadabams.
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
I don't have an answer for your question, but I feel compelled to respond. I am so sorry that you are in a difficult situation. It takes an enormous toll on the family when a family member is sick, more so when some one is mentally ill. I hope your wife's condition improves soon. I have some thoughts for you. Have you tried marriage counselling with your wife? Even if you think you're not responsible for her illness, counselling helps you understand the illness better. Often times, better understanding of a condition leads to more awareness, empathy, love, compassion and a greater desire to sacrifice. There are a number of books that have been written to help spouses of mentally ill people. I believe the solution to your problems does not lie outside but inside of you and within you. You, as a husband, are in an unique position to help change the outcome of her disease. If you are willing to make a shift in your mindset, you'll be able to restore your wife health and completely salvage your marriage. It appears from your note that you have given up on your marriage because of her chronic condition. Sometimes, the solutions to life's complicated problems are easier than we would think. This is the woman you loved once, and had two smart kids with. She probably was not insane when you started a relationship with her. Somewhere along the way, she lost her way in life. You are the one that can make things better for her.
I have some questions for you. You don't have to answer them. These are being framed to help you make the much needed paradigm shift in your thought process. When our hearts, kidneys, lungs and liver can get sick, why can't our brains get sick? Why should be we send some one away when they are mentally ill? Do we wash our hands off when a family member has a heart disease? Why should this be any different? Isn't this the time that they need us the most? Would we do this if it was our mothers or daughters? God forbid, if the tables were to turn and we are the ones that are sick, would we want our spouses to take care of us or send us to an asylum?
The symptoms you have described are common with most mental illesses. While some people are more vulnerable than others, environment plays an important role in the recovery process. Warmer weather usually helps. If moving back to India is not a option, light therapy and/or being with other people (socializing) also helps. If you are living in a cold place, try making the move to a warmer city. Yes it is going to be a sacrifice in some ways. You may have to quit your job and find another. If are living in the suburbs, move to a downtown area where there is an increased chance of seeing people. Take frequent vacations. Hate the disease not her. Make the compromise, you'll be glad you did it. I am saying all these things not to make you go on the defensive. I believe you have the ability to change things around and make a positive impact on the outcome of your wife's illness. I hope I made you think in a different direction and not give up on your marriage. I don't mean to convince you against your beliefs. He who is convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. Some one wise said that. I wish you and your family the best.
I have some questions for you. You don't have to answer them. These are being framed to help you make the much needed paradigm shift in your thought process. When our hearts, kidneys, lungs and liver can get sick, why can't our brains get sick? Why should be we send some one away when they are mentally ill? Do we wash our hands off when a family member has a heart disease? Why should this be any different? Isn't this the time that they need us the most? Would we do this if it was our mothers or daughters? God forbid, if the tables were to turn and we are the ones that are sick, would we want our spouses to take care of us or send us to an asylum?
The symptoms you have described are common with most mental illesses. While some people are more vulnerable than others, environment plays an important role in the recovery process. Warmer weather usually helps. If moving back to India is not a option, light therapy and/or being with other people (socializing) also helps. If you are living in a cold place, try making the move to a warmer city. Yes it is going to be a sacrifice in some ways. You may have to quit your job and find another. If are living in the suburbs, move to a downtown area where there is an increased chance of seeing people. Take frequent vacations. Hate the disease not her. Make the compromise, you'll be glad you did it. I am saying all these things not to make you go on the defensive. I believe you have the ability to change things around and make a positive impact on the outcome of your wife's illness. I hope I made you think in a different direction and not give up on your marriage. I don't mean to convince you against your beliefs. He who is convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. Some one wise said that. I wish you and your family the best.
Good asylum for a chronic schizophrenia patient.
Caramel;676316I don't have an answer for your question, but I feel compelled to respond. I am so sorry that you are in a difficult situation. It takes an enormous toll on the family when a family member is sick, more so when some one is mentally ill. I hope your wife's condition improves soon. I have some thoughts for you. Have you tried marriage counselling with your wife? Even if you think you're not responsible for her illness, counselling helps you understand the illness better. Often times, better understanding of a condition leads to more awareness, empathy, love, compassion and a greater desire to sacrifice. There are a number of books that have been written to help spouses of mentally ill people. I believe the solution to your problems does not lie outside but inside of you and within you. You, as a husband, are in an unique position to help change the outcome of her disease. If you are willing to make a shift in your mindset, you'll be able to restore your wife health and completely salvage your marriage. It appears from your note that you have given up on your marriage because of her chronic condition. Sometimes, the solutions to life's complicated problems are easier than we would think. This is the woman you loved once, and had two smart kids with. She probably was not insane when you started a relationship with her. Somewhere along the way, she lost her way in life. You are the one that can make things better for her.
I have some questions for you. You don't have to answer them. These are being framed to help you make the much needed paradigm shift in your thought process. When our hearts, kidneys, lungs and liver can get sick, why can't our brains get sick? Why should be we send some one away when they are mentally ill? Do we wash our hands off when a family member has a heart disease? Why should this be any different? Isn't this the time that they need us the most? Would we do this if it was our mothers or daughters? God forbid, if the tables were to turn and we are the ones that are sick, would we want our spouses to take care of us or send us to an asylum?
The symptoms you have described are common with most mental illesses. While some people are more vulnerable than others, environment plays an important role in the recovery process. Warmer weather usually helps. If moving back to India is not a option, light therapy and/or being with other people (socializing) also helps. If you are living in a cold place, try making the move to a warmer city. Yes it is going to be a sacrifice in some ways. You may have to quit your job and find another. If are living in the suburbs, move to a downtown area where there is an increased chance of seeing people. Take frequent vacations. Hate the disease not her. Make the compromise, you'll be glad you did it. I am saying all these things not to make you go on the defensive. I believe you have the ability to change things around and make a positive impact on the outcome of your wife's illness. I hope I made you think in a different direction and not give up on your marriage. I don't mean to convince you against your beliefs. He who is convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. Some one wise said that. I wish you and your family the best.
Thank you for your reply. Definitely there is no question of saving the marriage or anything related to saving marriage, because there is no break here. It is basically looking ahead to give her a safe life for the future when I am hitting the curb. Also, in US expecting kids to take care of parents is the most foolish thing one can fancy upon and in this case it is schizophrenic mother. So, I need to have a plan B. Especially, in US it just takes one or two odd behavior outside, she will be automatically booked and taken to Asylum and it happened about half dozen times in the past.
I have tried all that you mentioned, like moving to a warmer climate. I was originally from Albany, NY. I sold my home for a big loss of $110K just to move to Austin, TX, a warmer tropical climate for her only. I didn't see any improvement. Very lately, I learnt that she walks out of the house and gets into trouble in the community in a disoriented way. So, I really don't understand your salvaging the marriage point here. There is nothing going astray with the marriage and for that reason only she is living with us as a family member even now. And counselling is an early stage option you are talking about where the other person can think coherent and have the will and drive to come out of the condition. This is not something to do with divorce or marriage related issue. This is to do with rehabilitating someone who lost touch with reality and community sense. Here it is an advance stage where a schizophrenic person who is not in touch with reality and who is on all sorts of medication for about 20+ years.
I think you read my post wrong. It is not that I want to dump her here and there and move on. The intent is to put back her in a regular regime where she will be put to compulsory daily activities along with all the medications, with all possible trial and errors of advanced medical practices, otherwise she has been undergoing in US as an outpatient with lot of effort and pain from me organizing and working with Psychiatrists in US.