R2I in 2019/2020

MItoPune · Post by **MItoPune** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 1:10 am

Both of us always have been very clear ab moving back to India, its been 13 years for me and 17 for my spouse in the midwest.
We will be filing citizenship in March 2020 and thats what is holding us back for now.
My daughter will turn 12 in April 2019 and as per initial plan I along with kids will R2I in summer 2019. My husband was planning to stay back to file citizenship in 2020 March and join us once he was through. I was not planning on taking citizenship.
Though last few months we have been debating on me also filing citizenship, which means one more year of stay & daughter will be 13 then.
In that case after filling I might have to do a bit of back and forth travel for about 6 months till I get approval. But that 'sleast of the worry for now.

After reading all the info here I am overwhelmed. Older kid having adjustment issues, tough times etc thoughts are worrying time. US born and raised kid starting 8th grade is a CBSE school in Pune is worrying me to the core. At times I feel its due our whims / fancies/ uncertainties we are putting her through so much turmoil & overall this is a good place for kids to progress and build their lives. Moreover both of us in good stable jobs here, with great work life balance.

Other times I feel that I am thinking too much and I should follow my heart, execute the move and everything will be fall in place in couple of months. Both sets of parents will be around and kids will have good family time. Will get to see family more often and relief from this weather. Financially there will be some set back since I dont plan to work in India but we are in good shape and one of us working should be fine to maintain the required lifestyle.

Spouse is inclined toward R2I, he atleast wants to give R2I a try. So that helps

Any thoughts are appreciated

crazyforger · Post by **crazyforger** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 1:59 am

What you guys probably need to do first is to move away from midwest first.
Its a horrible place to continue living unless you are into winter sports.
I moved away and am much happier :)

If anyone has to work in India, it would be a major R2A factor.

If you are Rich and don't need to work.....only then R2I in my opinion.

MItoPune · Post by **MItoPune** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:25 am

Completely agree about moving out, but my spouse is auto engineer and this is a perfect place for him to be.
Though he has been trying hard since last couple of months to find something down south, but nothing seems working out. Keeping fingers crossed.

One of us will have to work for couple of years before we can hang our boots. He is very adjusting types, so I think he can sail in for some years and we will be through

crazyforger · Post by **crazyforger** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 2:37 am

MItoPune;682543Completely agree about moving out, but my spouse is auto engineer and this is a perfect place for him to be.
Though he has been trying hard since last couple of months to find something down south, but nothing seems working out. Keeping fingers crossed.

One of us will have to work for couple of years before we can hang our boots. He is very adjusting types, so I think he can sail in for some years and we will be through

Then its better to go through those years , move south and make frequent visits to India rather than R2I.

When time is not on your side, its better not to take drastic decisions.
The India you guys left behind is not there anymore.

Take more vacations, read good books and be Happy :)

Once you are happy, you wouldn't think about India :)

returning_indian · Post by **returning_indian** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 9:14 am

Get your kids in college and then think about moving anywhere. This is the time most kids build lifelong friendships, career, finding out about themselves etc. Not a good time to move anywhere forget India.

indian · Post by **indian** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:26 pm

Kids build lifelong friendships anywhere you move or where ever you stay put. I moved with a teenager and is adjusting really well and scoring well, made new friends, his classroom in school is more diverse than in US. Has developed newer perspectives in short time and involved in his passions and extra curricular activities. Couldn't have been better. Does he complain about India v/s US, cleanliness, infrastructure etc ? yes he does if I ask him about it, but not often and not on his own. It is minor and not a deal breaker.

wd40 · Post by **wd40** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 12:45 pm

I think depends on the kid. Some kids are very emotionally attached and others are quite independent and individualistic. I think the latter will have no problems moving. The former, I am not so sure.

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MItoPune · Post by **MItoPune** » Thu Oct 11, 2018 11:09 pm

My husband thinks on similar lines, that our kids are adapting will growth and flourish wherever we go. She is a very good in maths and overall we don't have to worry ab her completing things on schedule. Still very naive in thoughts and whenever we discuss R2I the concerns are more about missing friends or travelling within India for vacation, like we go here. I am worried ab the sudden boatload of studies she will have to deal with in 8th grade along with all the growing up changes, i have always heard ab the amount of time kids spend on studies is insane. Though purely if I were to think ab my happiness I would absolutely to do R2I. I always feel - we all have only one life and at the end of it we, if I cannot make myself content there is no point ! Contention may mean different things to different people off course. In our case after all these years here in midwest and starting from scratch, we don't have much of materialistic desires left or rather such desires have been fading out consistently. We can be happy living frugally but with more people/ healthy relations around us, thats what we have started to realize.

indian · Post by **indian** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 9:05 am

MItoPune;682568My husband thinks on similar lines, that our kids are adapting will growth and flourish wherever we go. She is a very good in maths and overall we don't have to worry ab her completing things on schedule. Still very naive in thoughts and whenever we discuss R2I the concerns are more about missing friends or travelling within India for vacation, like we go here. I am worried ab the sudden boatload of studies she will have to deal with in 8th grade along with all the growing up changes, i have always heard ab the amount of time kids spend on studies is insane. Though purely if I were to think ab my happiness I would absolutely to do R2I. I always feel - we all have only one life and at the end of it we, if I cannot make myself content there is no point ! Contention may mean different things to different people off course. In our case after all these years here in midwest and starting from scratch, we don't have much of materialistic desires left or rather such desires have been fading out consistently. We can be happy living frugally but with more people/ healthy relations around us, thats what we have started to realize.

Missing friends - find a community where she can find kids with same age and grade. Doable, I did it for 8th grade
Traveling in India - shouldn't be such a criteria. And it is not difficult to travel. Flights are cheap and India offers more leaves, holidays, vacations - from my experience.
Studies - IB school are best fit for higher grades, though they bring different set of challenges to deal with like ability to choose to study in india v/s US. Visit school with kid and have her select school with your guidance.
Agree to your other points - everyone's situation is different. But your thoughts resonate with me.

MItoPune · Post by **MItoPune** » Fri Oct 12, 2018 10:19 pm

We try to tell her the same thing, its not that we cannot travel in flights or take vacations in India. We try to get the message to her that things will be different but its not like you will be in a terrible place. Finding the right community/ house as per one's family needs is one of the primary requirements. Other main requirement for us is will be my husband finding a decent job in his field, considering he is an auto engineer in early forties and how his skill set will be taken. Hoping to find some decent positions in Pune and he is ready for compromises. Once these 2 things are taken care off, its about managing the day to day life. Financially we have a full paid house and couple of other assets which will help us retire early. If he finds a feasible job and can hold on to it for 7-8 years we should be ready to retire