R2I or bust

[desi4ever]

Background:
Born and raised in Bengaluru. Been in the US for 10 years. Myself and daughter USC with OCI. Wife GC with Re-entry permit. Missed out on the real estate boom in Bengaluru. Average single income in the US ( not six figure so that you get the drift). Married with 2.5 yr old daughter and another one due this November. Not a big saver of $$$s. I'm even embarassed to get a AAP done because of the low numbers:-) Led a decent life in the US and hope to do the same in India. I always tell my wife : We shall remain in middle class forever no matter where we live! The wife says with my attitude I will never progress , sigh :-)

I'm taking a transfer to India from my current company. But its not as simple as it sounds. I had to apply for a position, take interviews , explain to them R2I is my goal and what not. Did not get selected in one group and got selected in another group.The guys in India were just not ready to pay me more. Why am I relocating to India even when I'm going to make only half of what I'm making now?Is it the people's warmth ? Is the the food ? Is it the sense of belonging ? Is it because of "culture" ? Is it because of ease in practicing our religion ?I don't think I have a clear answer. Maybe its a combination of all the above. R2Iing was never a big dilemma. Regardless of whatmy passport says , I always feel more comfortable in Bengaluru than in USA. So to us its just going back home after a long vacation in the US.
Plan was to move my family first, spend 2 weeks in Bengaluru , come back to US and windup completely . This time the visit was more than meeting relatives, shopping and eating out. It was a reality check for me and my wife. My wife's first visit after 5 years of stay in the US due to some complex US immigration issues. I travelled in auto-rickshaws and BMTC buses for the most part even though I had a choice of cars to use ( in-laws and brother's ). I only drove within the neigbourhood.I just could not drive in the chaotic traffic and struggle for parking. But I'm positive that I will start driving like the way I used to 10 years ago! Cabs are good but you will have to book in advance and pay through your nose. I rode the company bus to met my boss-to-be and the team. It was fun riding the bus and it took almost an hour to reach the destination. Though we could live close to work, we have decided to live close to the in-laws place so that help is within our reach. It was the best time to be in Bengaluru. Mango season!. Also fresh sugar cane juice , tender coconut water, fresh cut fruits like Jackfruit and guava. Yummy!
My daughter is having a fantastic time with her grand-parents , aunts and uncles.I was worried on how she could adjust. We carried all her toys thinking that she will need them, but there much more interesting things for her. My daughter is the one who got adjusted quicker than me and my wife. She plays with her cousins, neighbors and freely mingles with everyone. I guess thats the magic of childhood.These are the things we yearned for while in the US and these are the things money cannot buy. So life is more fulfilling in India than in the US even without all the comforts and conveniences.
My wife is looked after well in her pregnancy and all her food cravings are satisfied.The personal attention given by doctors and the time they spend with the patients is remarkable.But she says she misses the cleanliness in the US sans pollution . Ah..women!It was interesting to get feedback on our R2I. My mother , in-laws were thrilled that we are indeed coming back for good. Their reasoning was simple. There are a lot of people living here happily and so can you guys :)US is a boring place to them without availability of good produce and no people to talk to is their gripe. Anyways that's their point-of-view. Some of our relatives whose children are living abroad looked at us as though we are big losers since we are returning to India for good. They were questioning whether I have any sort of issues in my current job ( psst..layoffs due to recession) while proudly mentioning their children are doing great in America. For some if you R2I you are a loser. There were others who inquired about my job in India and once I told the name of the company, they said "first class". To us its somewhere in the middle. We lived a reasonably comfy life in the US. We missed a lot of things and craved for them. We are letting go of the relatively comfy life in the US to a less comfy life in India for factors I mentioned because we feel those things are more important to us. I may work for a "first class" company but my pay is not "first class" :)
My brother was saying I will have a tough time adjusting to the work culture here and the office politics is blatant and rampant. One thing that's still not changed in India is everyone has an opinion on everything you do or say and "feel bad" if their suggestions are not taken.
In India is if you know the right people you can get some of the things done efficiently than in the US. Luckily I have a lot of family members who can help me out after I R2I.
Now to the not-so-good things in Bengaluru and India in general. These are the things probably everyone knows about, but I'm still mentioning from my own point-of-view. I guess that's how it is or anyone that's lived for a long time abroad.
1. Real estate cost : Bengaluru is an expensive place to live. People talk in crores of rupees when it comes to real estate. The houses are not great either inside or outside when compared to the houses in the US. Is it all hype ? I feel these people don't know the value of value. The owner of an ugly looking poorly planned house with no proper amenities was proudly saying the house would easily fetch him 1.5 crores but he is waiting for the "market to go up". I don't know. I'll let the real estate pundits, the economists figure out. But to me buying a single family home in Bangalore is a distant dream.
2.Lifestyle : Don't fall for the sales pitches from friends/relatives in India. "Everything available abroad is available in India" or "These days you get everything in India". Yes they may be available. But can I afford with the kind of money you are making is the question I ask myself. The more you try to live the lifestyle from abroad the more disappointed you will be.
3. Food : Yes food is great as long as its home cooked. I was not able to enjoy food in restaurants in this trip.Excess of salt and spice in everything. I'm saying this when our friends in US say that we add lot of salt and spice in our food!
4. Pollution : Yes this is unfortunately the thing we cannot change and its probably the worst part. It gets to to your throat, your lungs and its nasty. Hopefully I get used to it soon.

Conclusion: All said and done ,I think I will be able to live happily in India.My mantra is live in India like an Indian not like an NRI. We cannot afford to be living in a Villa in an upscale gated community. We will enroll our daughter in a decent middle class school in the neighborhood as opposed big brand schools that has names with "International" tags like "Venkat international" like or "Ryan International". I may endup buying a Swift dzire or Tata Indigo and drool over a Honda Accord/Toyota Camry that passes by.

Now I'm back in the US. This is the first time I'm away from my wife and kid after I got married 5 years ago. I just want to get out of this place and R2I soon. But I will have to wait till August which is not very far away but still feels a long way for me :(. Time to roll up the sleeves and start packing! Wish me luck..

Oh I just got an email from my boss-to-be that I need to "spend some time with the team in the US" before R2I :(.

[BeeAndButterfly]

Good writeup. Wishing you all the best in your r2i.

[VA_INDIAN]

Desi4ever, good diary, but just something on side not, hope you dont feel offended, we should not ridicule someone who is posting his or her negative experience(more so in our own diary), its their diary, they are posting, we should read and take the experience or leave it. I understand where you coming from on your comments on Pazam's diary , though I have not reach much of his diary. But we who are returning too cannot brag too much about our return can we?

Yes I too noticed that things are available in India, some years ago it was not so easy. But now it is...

[desi4ever]

My BMTC bus experience in Bengaluru It was 2 in the afternoon with temperature soaring to 35 deg C and I was standing in Majestic ( the central bus terminus of Bengaluru ) You will see only people there and a few buses here and there. I wanted to try the Volvo AC buses but to my disappointment the conductor told me there is none for that route. So I dejectedly boarded a regular blue bus. The conductor had tons of tickets in his left hand with many currency notes tucked in between his fingers. Added to that he had a whistle that went around his middle finger. I was waiting for the bus to move so that I could feel some air. The driver started the bus and the window started rattling. Ah the bus is finally going to move I said to myself. It did not. The driver was playing games. He would raise the throttle as though its time to depart. People would hurry up and climb the bus. The conductor was inviting everyone to take the route his bus takes. After 10 mins of mind games I heard a loud noise of gear change ( Thud! ) A few guys boarded the bus when the bus was about to leave and they were all standing. It seemed these guys were all buddies. They were laughing and having fun while I like a poor NRI was suffering the heat. One of the guys pulls out a big phone and starts tapping. Lo! He plays songs loudly on the speaker phone. I immediately nick named him BJ ( bus jockey ). But he was not the sole contender. There was another guy in the front with his own list of chart busters!. The songs were not soothing either. The first song was a tragedy song with lyrics like "Saarayi kudidadaru ee dukkha hogillaa..." translates to "Inspite of drinking , I'm not able to forget my sufferings..." BJ along with his buddies were enjoying the tunes and humming along while I was fanning myself. The guy sitting next to me got down and BJ sits next to me. Now he wants his buddy to sit next to him as well in the seat meant for 2. I said "please no trible riding". BJ laughed and said "okay sir". I smiled back. I asked the conductor to let me know when my stop arrives. BJ offered to help me out and he did. When I got up from my seat his two buddies jumped on the seat. I told myself have fun awesome threesome ...

[desi4ever]

VA_INDIAN, There is nothing to brag about in my R2I story. In fact I've indicated its a compromise I'm making. I believe public diaries are there for comments and everyone has the freedom to express his/her opinion and I was just expressing the same.Okay let me remove my comments since you found them offensive.

[VA_INDIAN]

Your diary is very inspiring, believe me. the fact you have mentioned how some people look down upon someone who say they are R2I, I have noticed it. When I used to talk about R2I to someone who is settled here for long, they would ridicule, not that they are completely wrong but the picture they usually bring up is very grim.. Again depending on where one lives, situation and experiences can vary. I have noticed that once we decide or if we are in process the best it to avoid talking and arguing with some people we know who are not in favor of that. That will demotivate us ...

VA_INDIAN, There is nothing to brag about in my R2I story. In fact I've indicated its a compromise I'm making. I believe public diaries are there for comments and everyone has the freedom to express his/her opinion and I was just expressing the same.Okay let me remove my comments since you found them offensive.

[back2desh]

This is very true here in US, sometimes even close friends turn away from you when you say your are R2Iing or have completely decided to R2I friends interaction kind of changes a lot. Most of the time when you meet or interact with them they will only say bad things about India and make you feel bad, their talks will disappoint you. But you have to be bold and firm with what decision you made for yourself and family! Remember here in US when everything is fine people meet and have get-together (drinks, party, food , dance and so on... ) but most of these get-together (whether you are interested or not) you will not be invited once it is confirmed that you are R2Iing, Sad isn't it but that's the fact. I think most of Indians living in US internally with-in their heart feel that they are missing India but the luxuries and comforts overides and discourages their decision to go back to India. Accept that problems are there back in India, but remembers everyone of our parents, uncles, and other elder relatives are in India, they go through through these problems day in day out and thats what makes them very bold as well. Just one day if in US either electricity or water does not come then you should see how people will panic, there are many Indians here in US who got used to the A/C that they just cannot live without A/C!!! Anyway.... you are doing the right thing and have made a very honest decision, you will do well.... BTW I am also leaving India on same day to Bombay! :)

Your diary is very inspiring, believe me. the fact you have mentioned how some people look down upon someone who say they are R2I, I have noticed it. When I used to talk about R2I to someone who is settled here for long, they would ridicule, not that they are completely wrong but the picture they usually bring up is very grim.. Again depending on where one lives, situation and experiences can vary. I have noticed that once we decide or if we are in process the best it to avoid talking and arguing with some people we know who are not in favor of that. That will demotivate us ...

[BeeAndButterfly]

This is very true here in US, sometimes even close friends turn away from you when you say your are R2Iing or have completely decided to R2I friends interaction kind of changes a lot. Most of the time when you meet or interact with them they will only say bad things about India and make you feel bad, their talks will disappoint you. But you have to be bold and firm with what decision you made for yourself and family! Remember here in US when everything is fine people meet and have get-together (drinks, party, food , dance and so on... ) but most of these get-together (whether you are interested or not) you will not be invited once it is confirmed that you are R2Iing, Sad isn't it but that's the fact. I think most of Indians living in US internally with-in their heart feel that they are missing India but the luxuries and comforts overides and discourages their decision to go back to India.

I am surprised by this. Pretty pathetic.

[Vid_Bangalore]

OP,
You have very nicely described the simple little pleasures that India offers..Very well written..
Wish you the very best with your move..:)

[VA_INDIAN]

Good to know you are too flying the same day as me to Bombay. Hope to stay in touch

This is very true here in US, sometimes even close friends turn away from you when you say your are R2Iing or have completely decided to R2I friends interaction kind of changes a lot. Most of the time when you meet or interact with them they will only say bad things about India and make you feel bad, their talks will disappoint you. But you have to be bold and firm with what decision you made for yourself and family! Remember here in US when everything is fine people meet and have get-together (drinks, party, food , dance and so on... ) but most of these get-together (whether you are interested or not) you will not be invited once it is confirmed that you are R2Iing, Sad isn't it but that's the fact. I think most of Indians living in US internally with-in their heart feel that they are missing India but the luxuries and comforts overides and discourages their decision to go back to India. Accept that problems are there back in India, but remembers everyone of our parents, uncles, and other elder relatives are in India, they go through through these problems day in day out and thats what makes them very bold as well. Just one day if in US either electricity or water does not come then you should see how people will panic, there are many Indians here in US who got used to the A/C that they just cannot live without A/C!!! Anyway.... you are doing the right thing and have made a very honest decision, you will do well.... BTW I am also leaving India on same day to Bombay! :)