If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

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RBee
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Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 12:34 am

If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by RBee »

I was reading this question in a daily 'Agony Aunt' sort column and came to know that this used to be a popular survey done every generation to gaze the public sentiments.

The one that was done 30 years ago, majority said , they will not have one if they had choice all over again. Probably understandable as having 3-4 kids or more was normal for a family then and probably burdened people to state so. But curious what would be the reaction now when the norm is 2 kids or less per generation in most developed countries? Even in India, for middle class/rich class that has become the norm.

What would be your choice? You can partcipate in the private poll and/or state your choice/reasoning.
RBee
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Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 12:34 am

If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by RBee »

I would opt choice 3 if given a chance again. I love my both kids but would space them nearer to alleviate our physical/mental strain of taking them to different activities at different areas at different times.

Plus if the genders were both same, that would have made my life easy too. Do people with 1 of each feel the same as I do?
dbs
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 8:59 pm

If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by dbs »

I opted for (1).
They were close together. Second one happenned and we were not in a position to undo. But we are glad. They grew up together and are still very close.
Sid
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Joined: Sun Jan 21, 2007 3:40 pm

If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by Sid »

RBee;407316 I love my both kids but would space them nearer...

how nearer?
XOXO
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If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by XOXO »

I am at a junction where I am contemplating of having a kid or Not having a kid. With the lifestyle I lead, i think I will not be able to do justice to his/her upbringing unless I scale it down. I am against raising kids by grandparents or maids.

I will probably go with option 5 but my not having them has nothing to do with population.

Peer pressure is immense in India, much easier to sustain it in USA
rajradio
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If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by rajradio »

XOXO;407464I am at a junction where I am contemplating of having a kid or Not having a kid. With the lifestyle I lead, i think I will not be able to do justice to his/her upbringing unless I scale it down. I am against raising kids by grandparents or maids.

I will probably go with option 5 but my not having them has nothing to do with population.

Peer pressure is immense in India, much easier to sustain it in USA




I am not advising you either way but remember kids are much better than us in adjusting, theyll adjust just fine with your lifestyle. My sisters daughter used to not see her for 2-3 days at a stretch. she is growing up fine. these guilt pangs are more for us. theyll eat what we eat sleep and drink with us. Little more stress in life but dont let people's concept of "doing justice" lead/(mislead) you in any way.

RK
triveni
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Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 11:56 pm

If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by triveni »

i love my son and would do it all over again. but i wish i had him a little later in our marriage. to give a little more time for me and DH to travel, enjoy a different lifestyle.
XOXO
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Joined: Thu Sep 30, 2010 12:24 pm

If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by XOXO »

rajradio;407471I am not advising you either way but remember kids are much better than us in adjusting, theyll adjust just fine with your lifestyle. My sisters daughter used to not see her for 2-3 days at a stretch. she is growing up fine. these guilt pangs are more for us. theyll eat what we eat sleep and drink with us. Little more stress in life but dont let people's concept of "doing justice" lead/(mislead) you in any way.

RK


I was raised by my grandmom as I had working set of parents with long commute and equally long hours at work. I missed my parents involvement at school and at extra curricular activities. There was something missing when I would see other mom's with their kids. My parents did what they did right and probably I will also do the same. But as a kid I know what kids with working set of parents miss. Balance in life is something I find difficult in India.
rajradio
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Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:24 am

If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by rajradio »

I agree with you but if you have a point scale out of 10 in raising successful kids, what are we? lets assume 6-7 out of 10.

Dont you think you ll manage that much. Think about it. You had working parents, I had stay home mom. there are many studies that prove working moms dont necessarily raise worse off kids. So what is the most common thing to all of us. as kids we had a great adjusting ability, we absorbed what our parents gave us and stuck to the task. So the most important thing is to form a little frame work and make sure you raise a functional citizen.

In meanwhile there is no greater pleasure than a little being saying cute little things. Dont stress too much about what is not in your hands.I have always believed that " things will eventually gravitate towards working out in the end" these things like work life balance are good for paperback writing. everyone in my life has worked their butts off, yet we have a functional life.

Enjoy every day and kiddie at home can be a real fun thing.

RK
mn_op
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If you got to do all over again, would you have kids?

Post by mn_op »

RBee;407313What would be your choice? You can partcipate in the private poll and/or state your choice/reasoning.


MV finally had a breakthru and has successfully cloned herself. Once the procedure (to clone) becomes a common knowledge, why would anybody produce kids the painful way (of tolerating wife who throws up when you are having dosa that you cooked with so much efforts)?
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