Moving back to India with kids

kalaatlanta · Post by **kalaatlanta** » Sat Aug 25, 2012 2:26 am

Hi All,

I would like to know if you had a situation where the wife and kids moved back to India and the husband stayed back in US for a year and will join later.I am specifically interested if the wife can handle everything on her own and their experiences.Any one on that boat .

Thanks

Chakraan · Post by **Chakraan** » Sat Aug 25, 2012 2:35 am

Read many such stories here. You need to search.

http://www.r2iclubforums.com/forums/showthread.php/25564-Dilemma-a-deadlock-situation?p=464497#post464497

I think it depends on the wife. Is she going back to home town? Is there any family member, relative,friends staying there already?

With good support system, it will be easier.

Personally I don't like this "separation" especially with the kids.

junusonu · Post by **junusonu** » Sat Aug 25, 2012 9:44 pm

Hi,
l am going back this dec with my kids and my hubby will join me next year.
I hav my family and my hubby parents in Bangalore.I know it's going to be hard for me by the time I settle with kids schools doing alone everything,but at this time that was the best decision for my family.
I hate separations but circumstances!

back2desh · Post by **back2desh** » Sat Aug 25, 2012 10:51 pm

In my situation due to the nature of my job I went first with kids and my wife was in US for an year to wrap up everything. It was bit tough for me but manageable, kids were missing their mother initially but later got adjusted. My wife is back after an year and things are great now.

Brownie · Post by **Brownie** » Sun Aug 26, 2012 12:34 pm

We did r2I recently. My hubby is going back next month. He is trying for a job and move based on when he gets the Job.I did quit my Job and moved to India. This will be the first time we are separated in close to 15 years of marriage. I hate this but given the circumstances and kids ages we couldnt afford more time waiting for his Job.So far things are going great except for my job hunt.

GoodForAll · Post by **GoodForAll** » Mon Aug 27, 2012 11:09 am

I also did it, my husband will be joining in one month. But let me tell you, separation is bad especially for him since he is left all alone versus we have family here and pretty busy with chaos in India:-). I will only recommend separation if it;s less than 6 months.

Now coming to settling in India part,this is very hard without any family support. I won;t advice this if you don;t have family or friends here. I had both and even then there were times I pulled my hair and went crazy. In my case I could continue with US job while getting settled and only joined India firm afterwards. This gave me the flexibility to get settled. Even if you are not working we definitely need some one who knows the city to get everything from school,phone,home and other basic stuff.

pnq2012 · Post by **pnq2012** » Thu Aug 30, 2012 5:52 am

As part of the R2I process, my wife and kids relocated to Pune so that our kids can start school on time. I'm in US for some work & was in India initially when we made the move. My wife has been managing everything by herself for the past two months. The separation is a killer for all of us, especially me because I'm all by myself.

To answer your question on whether the wife can handle things by herself, it pretty much depends on that person. In our case, we do have family support, which is a big thing especially for the kids. But rest all falls on my wife. Since she has never lived in Pune, it is a bit challenging for her to find things. Luckily, we found a housing community where my wife made friends right away through my kids school, so she has tremendous social support too. For day-to-day activities, we rely on domestic help including a driver as my wife has never driven in India. We live in a gated community, has kid activities nearby & is also close to grocery stores, pretty much at walking distance. That helps a lot too.

I speak to my wife everyday & she makes progress every day. The one thing that she says she has learned is to be patient. At first, we would get frustrated with things not happening fast and perfectly, but later realized that it requires patience as that is how life in Pune is. Things move slowly. The first 2-3 months can be difficult especially if you have kids settling down in a new school.

Overall, it has been a learning experience for her but manageable. It would be good if the husband can spend some time initially, say a month, to help settle down the family. But I do agree with some comments above that the separation should possibly be less than 6 months.

Let me know if any specific questions. Good luck !

gshankar · Post by **gshankar** » Wed Sep 05, 2012 2:54 am

Iam planning to do the same as well. I will be moving back with our son in May 2013 and DH will join us after a year. Like majority of them, its just circumstances thats forcing me to return earlier as it might be really tough for our son to adjust in school as i keep prolonging our R2I. As long as you are not a relunctant candidate to R2I, it should be doable, though little challenging. Family help will definitely ease things. Have a positive attitude and lots of patience.