Dilemma : How to beat the R2I blues? Should I R2A?

[anony_mouse]

i have spent 2 weeks in India now and have already had it !!

I want to move back !! I came here for better opportunities (which clearly exists) but now I am thinking of moving back due to lifestyle issues !!

My questions: are there other people in similar boat? how did you counter these feelings?
also, what is a realistic way to move back? can I ship my stuff back (it has not yet arrived!!) ?

[Chicago Desi]

Why are you in a hurry to move back? Now that you are there, why not relax and see how things go for six months and then decide? Whats the hurry? Given it a run and then judge.

Remember, whenever you make a change, there is a learning curve and it takes six months for things to start making sense around you. I have seen this every time I made any change in my life, even when I changed jobs.

Hang in there. Don't judge too fast. I am sure the reasons for R2I are still there.

[r2iedhappy]

If it helps you at all..you are on the right track to settle down (except for lucky few who enjoyed sinc putting foot on the soil).. and it will take you at least 6 months if not more before you can realistically judge your decision.

I shiver when rember the initial days ...long list of things to be done and evryone takes "days" .. starting from PAN card to Rashon card to licenseto bank accounts ..buying appliances..gettig house ready .. long line of relatives who wanted to come to our house as soon as we landed ...etc..etc.No wonder you are overwhelmed. But it also means that you are in the process for all these things which should get sorted out soon.

Try to meet few families who have moved from US in last few months or year. Visit this forum to see how people are working hard to achieve what you already did and feel better. Try not to fight with spouse and expect too much from children ..everyone is in fog just like you..

I have heard people shipping back the container without opening it ..i.e. some actually do go back before the containers even arrive ..but in my opinion it will be hasty .. till your shipment arrive and you settle down in your own place, you can't take a realistic decision ..what you are going thru now is not going to be your life in India after few months.

[mn_op]

i have spent 2 weeks in India now and have already had it !!

I want to move back !! I came here for better opportunities (which clearly exists) but now I am thinking of moving back due to lifestyle issues !!

My questions: are there other people in similar boat? how did you counter these feelings?
also, what is a realistic way to move back? can I ship my stuff back (it has not yet arrived!!) ?[/quote]

Get yourself a vacation. A trip to some hill station would do you good. This time of the year, hill stations are not crowded and you can have fun. Indian vacations don't cost much. Give some rest to your body. Physical stress aggravates mental stress. Rich desi food will calm you down considerably. Think of it as six months long temporary stay. After six months you would know what you like more and will be able to take educated decision...right now moving back just sounds rash. Better opportunities usually extract its price so I would go easy on it if I were you and concentrate on enjoying material life more.

[restlessdesi]

#1,

At the risk of sounding rude, why sweat shipping the stuff back? We arent much on planning are we?

[dhobi]

tarun,
I can understand what you are going through. I moved to Bangalore in April this year and there's hasn't been a day when the thought of moving back hasn't crossed my mind. However, I keep giving myself that extra day and here I am. After 6 months, I have slowly started to adjust and don't have as many issues as I used to. The most important thing to remember is whether your R2I reasons have gone away. If not, just focus on that and don't worry about the rest of the things. These will become minor irritants and become insignificant over a period of time.

Best of luck and god bless.

[DosaiLvr]

My questions: are there other people in similar boat? how did you counter these feelings?[/quote]

R2I'ing can be an overwhelming exp.

I've entertained thoughts of R2A'ing, though it may not be for the same reasons as yours.

We are well adjusted to life here, so are the kids. I'd rate my R2I as a success - as far as social/cultural aspects go.

Despite this, we are still keeping our R2A option wide open... for reasons not completely under my control.

As far as countering the R2I-blues goes:

1) One has to leave enough time to adjust, re-learn and re-adapt to the Indian way of life.

2) Take a break, go on a sabbatical if possible.

(There's enough day-to-day stuff such as cable, phone, maids, traffic, pollution, bureaucracy, crowds, school, weather, etc., etc. to wrestle w/ before taking on less imp. stuff like work and career.) I hope this does not discourage people from R2I'ing :D

3) Most importantly, if one arrives here w/o a job, one should not set immediate deadlines/goals and or strive to achieve the goals w/ in a few weeks of landing here.

4) A thumb rule that was mentioned to me, which I agree w/ completely is that, one should give at least a month of LII-time for each year of his/her stay abroad.

5) If you must R2A, give yourself enough time, say 12 months and then do it at that time w/o further deliberation.

Try not to think about R2A until then. It will not help the transition process if one starts planning the R2A even before the (R2I) dust has settled down.

6) Lastly, speaking w/ other R2I'd folks will help. As far as I can see, you are on the right track by doing that here - in this forum.

Good luck

Added later:

If this post comes off as a pitch for stoically sticking w/ a decision gone awry, that is not my intention. There's absolutely nothing wrong or shame in R2A'ing. There are pros as well as cons to LII.

It's prudent to leave enough time for culture-shock or reverse culture-shock to wear off.

[HighTorque]

i have spent 2 weeks in India now and have already had it !!

I want to move back !! I came here for better opportunities (which clearly exists) but now I am thinking of moving back due to lifestyle issues !!

My questions: are there other people in similar boat? how did you counter these feelings?
also, what is a realistic way to move back? can I ship my stuff back (it has not yet arrived!!) ?

OP, like others have said, just chill. two weeks is ridiculously short amount of time to absorb all the madness and chaos that any big city in India will offer you. Getting used to it will take time. I know of someone who has been there for over an year and would R2A for quality of life but has other greater reasons to stick around. Quality of life should rank pretty low as a reason for R2I.

[Ace Novice]

Maybe OP is one of those guys/ gals who can take snap decisions. (?)

[layman]

i have spent 2 weeks in India now and have already had it !!

I want to move back !! I came here for better opportunities (which clearly exists) but now I am thinking of moving back due to lifestyle issues !!

My questions: are there other people in similar boat? how did you counter these feelings?
also, what is a realistic way to move back? can I ship my stuff back (it has not yet arrived!!) ?[/quote]
Well, your reason to R2I seems a flimsy one for me. I have seen people with more passionate and strong reasons to R2I such as culture, being with parents...; some one even brought up duty to motherland. What will you do if better opportunities cease to exist in India 5 yrs down the line? It can happen even though it looks unlikely now. In 1997, Gartner and similar other research organizations came up with a truck load of reports saying that there will be shortage for millions of engineering jobs in US. What will you do if corporate India realizes one day that the management layer has lot of fat in India and starts laying them off? I feel you will be better off LIA based on your posting.

I planned an R2I with one year window where my family will settle down in India and I will be travelling back and forth to see how it goes. I see pros and cons in both LIA and R2I but I will take an informed decision based on my trial period of one year.