How to convince parents/inlaws about "living separately"

[blaze]

give the folks a DVD of the Everybody Loves Raymond? j/k

[Sid]

What a dig!

[anuma]

Parents are not fools. No need to sugarcoat. Lying is disingenous.

1. Identify the genuine reasons for living separately. Assess and reassess them.

2. Review them objectively stepping in the shoes of the parents.

3. Proceed with the action of living separately to an almost point of no return (this is an issue of timing of when the communication should be done (like after setting up a house and purchases made for household goods).

4. Then as a matter of fact, tell them the arrangements you have made for your living.

5. If they ask, why separate living - as a matter of fact be honest and straightforward about the reasons. Yes, you can be tactful but not deceitful. No need to beat around the bush too much. If necessary, take them to a nice restaurant with some private tables reserved and communicate that you feel this is best for all concerned, for peace and harmony.

6. If you have the responsibility to take care of them (i.e. no other siblings taking care), then assure them of the arrangements you have made and how you will monitor the arrangements.

I thought of something similar, but your words and organization of thoughts are far superior. So I'll just say "agree"

One of my relative moved back to the city where his parents live. Now the parents live in the ground floor house. The returnee couple and kids live in the first floor. The kitchens etc are all separate. They help each other when necessary and the kids go to play in their grandparents "home" often.

So far it seems to be working out. But I am not sure what words were used to negotiate (it might even be possible that no words were exchanged at all)