Financial help to the parents in-law

[r2iedhappy]

MV post#119

first of all I finally went thru your blog..excellent blog! and i hate you for getting me back to the r2iforum addiction as i find myself spending a lot of time here again:(

anyway, about the norms, they are dynamic in nature and need to change in any society as time goes by and they become outdated..most of these happen over a period of time without much prodding to the society as our needs change.. evils of society (which become norm) need some drastic actions to fast track them (laws regarding dowry, untouchability etc). every generation is actually battling with transition with some or other social norms and everyone reacts differntly to them.

professional qualification , working outside home and earning money has long been men's forte ..it worked for middle class then, as they mostly lived in joint family and shared the earnings while the women folks together managed the household..now men are moving our of hometowns in search of better pastures in larger number, Tv is bringing all the fancy lifestyle items in your living room and golbal knowledge is making it feasible to achive a lot more ..most of it is possible only if women folk come around and help in money making scheme ..so women staying home , cooking food and taking care of children is best for family theory goes out the window..it's a luxury now that many on this forum can afford but in real life I see women working to just have a decent lifestyle, good schools for kids and not working women actually feeling bad about not being able to support their family financially...not only that, kids also realize that mom not working is the reason they can't go on a particular vacation or get branded clothes/shoes or whatever (sounds harsh..but it is THE reality for most here).

about staying with in-laws ..it has changed for most already (i find many on this forfum harping about it ..which is unusually high percentage when i look around people here in india) .. this trend is anyway about to die soon enough ..i mean we may end up staying with parents or in-laws as a matter of fact, to take care of them or to take help from them as they are the closest family but not because they are BOY's parents. Taking care of elders will always be there (i have seen 3 family in us whose parents/in-law/uncle) live with them and they had built their home a long time back to accomodate the elders when the time comes (i.e. when they can't manage on their own ..it is a responsibility which does affect their lifestyle choices but they all wanted to shoulder and prepared for it)

so all in all, living with in-laws, donating the daughter in marriage (can i say a having a dozen children:) all are changing and going away..now many families have only one child or two girls (not like earlier when there is AT LEAST one boy and that's why this norm worked..) whether patriarchial or martriarchial..it is not going to work now when there is just one or two children..some families have already moved on, some are in transition and some are stuck in past (every family adapts to change differently, as and when they get comfortable with it)..list of things in transition is long in indian society ..may be we can start a new thread for that.

cheers!